Why won’t he step up?

Are you feeling frustrated because your man won’t step up?  Could it be that he won’t help around the house, or he insists on sitting around at home rather than taking you out?

Do you want to know why he won’t step up?

It’s because he doesn’t want to!

This is going to be a hard pill to swallow for you, but let’s face it – a man does what he wants to do, and doesn’t do what he doesn’t want to do, and you are going to have to face the fact that this is how things will be with him.

All is not lost though.  There are a couple of things you can do in order to see if this is just the way things are going to have to be, if you choose to stay with this dude, or whether it’s just a phase because he’s currently tired and overworked, and he’s actively planning to make things up to you.

So here’s what you can do:

1. Lean waaayyy back and observe – stop nagging him as this will achieve absolutely nothing!  Take some space, focus on you, and even take yourself out with friends occasionally – do the things with friends that he’s not currently prepared to do with you.
2. If you must speak to him about this, do so only once.  If this chat doesn’t change anything, then it’s clear he doesn’t want to change.  Nagging will achieve nothing.
3. Really get clear on the reality – is how he is right now, this very second, the type of man you can see yourself with long term?  Or are you still focused on his potential – are you focused on the man he used to be, or the man you wish him to be?

My main message here is that you absolutely CANNOT change a man!  What you see is usually what you get, and trying to change him may work temporarily, but all too soon, things will go back to how they were before.

So you are now left with two choices:

1. Accept
2. Reject

It’s completely up to you!