I see it every day… a woman is angry or upset because the guy she’s dating isn’t stepping up. She’s always wondering if he really likes her, or if he’s just using her for sex.
She spends countless hours of her day psycho analysing his text messages, wondering why he’s not asked to see her on a given day, or even made contact in over 12 hours!
Here’s the thing…
If a guy is truly into you, you’ll know it. And you will know it without a doubt!
I learned a few years ago (the hard way) that it was important to let a man lead the way in a dating and relationship situation. So that meant that I had to learn to do what they call “leaning back”.
Leaning back is about letting a man come to me. Letting him initiate most contact, letting him plan dates, letting him take things where he wants them to go.
For the female control freaks of this world, that’s a whole different way of doing things, because it means that all of a sudden, you’re not sending him texts to ask what he’s doing on any given day, or asking to see him. What the??
I know I know… it’s scary to let that control go, right?
But let me tell you, from my experience, if you can master this leaning back thing, your love life is going to improve significantly!
Here’s one of two things that leaning back will accomplish:
- He will not make contact with you, and will basically fade over time.
- He will step up, will initiate contact, will plan dates, will show you where he wants things to go.
These are both good outcomes, and here’s why…
If he comes under the #1 category and starts to fade over time, he’s done you a favour. Who wants a guy who is not into them?? Duh! This guy is basically weeding himself out to make room for a new guy who will step up and become category #2!
If he’s #2, he’ll show you what he wants and where he wants this to go. He will leave no doubt as to where he’s at. And you will know he’s making contact with you, purely because he wants to, and not because he feels obligated.
So how can you tell if a guy is into you? Let’s see…
- He initiates contact – a man does what he wants to do. He also doesn’t do what he doesn’t want to do. So if he is contacting you, it’s because he wants to!
- He makes an effort to see you – same as the point above. He will make an effort to see you because he wants to.
- He is open about how he feels about you – sometimes it takes time to reach this point, but if you keep that leaning back thing happening and let him lead the way, he’ll get there in his own time. Just watch your timelines vs his – they could be VERY different.
- He compliments you, he does nice things for you, he shows through his words and his actions that he likes being with you.
- You feel good when you’re with him and when you’re not. You feel secure with him, because he gives you no reason to feel insecure.
Ok, there’s probably loads more things a guy can show you that he’s into you, but bottom line is this… If he disappears for days on end, rarely makes contact, doesn’t really make much effort to talk to you, see you or make you happy, then you can rest assured that he’s lukewarm at best. xxx
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