When my second marriage ended in 2010, I couldn’t believe this had happened – again! How is it that not just one, but two of my marriages had failed?! What was I doing wrong??
It takes two to start a marriage, and as I learned, it also takes two to end it. I wasn’t completely faultless, and this was a tough pill to swallow. But I was prepared to learn from my mistakes, and my inner work truly began at this point.
My biggest lesson was about the masculine/feminine dynamic. I learned that my “inner masculine” was dominant most of the time. While this is great when you have a job and you must get things done, it doesn’t fare well if you’re married to a man who’s supposed to be the masculine one!
You see, a relationship needs polarity – it will never work with two feminine or two masculine people in it, and this is what happened to me.
In my first marriage, I had a very masculine (albeit a very insecure one) husband. His response to my masculine energy was to respond with aggression – to put me in my place.
In my second marriage, I was so in my masculine that my husband had no choice but to be in the feminine in order to keep the peace (he didn’t have an aggressive bone in his body). I felt unfulfilled because I wanted my man to take care of me, and he felt unfulfilled because he had been “de-masculated”.
Neither scenario worked well, and both marriages ultimately crumbled.
I spent quite a lot of time practising being in my feminine, and at first it was hard. My inner control freak was literally freaking out! But she eventually got used to not needing to be in control all of the time. I learned to let things go, and I learned to let a man lead the way. At work, I could be masculine when I needed to be, but where relationships were concerned, I needed to be the girl if I was ever going to be happy!
Once I had fully embraced my feminine side, and once I had achieved happiness on my own, I knew I was ready for my Mr Right. I wrote the following note down, “I am in a loving relationship with the perfect man for me.” I truly believed that this was going to come true (this is important – if you don’t believe there are any good men out there, then your “wish” will come through), and I let it all go, knowing he would appear when I was ready.
We met shortly after I did this, through a “weird” introduction (I unfortunately have his ex wife to thank for this!), and it was like we were meant to be!
I know in my heart that my unwavering belief that he was on his way, and the work I did to become the best version of me I could be, was what drew us together – like magic!
If you’re struggling to find your “Mr Right”, you really need to first take a look at your beliefs. What do you believe to be true about this man? Does he exist? Is he out there? If you don’t believe these things, you’ll be waiting a very long time!
So if you can get to work on these limiting beliefs, and do the work to be the perfect woman for the perfect man for you, I can guarantee you will attract him into your life!
Leave a Reply