Two marriages, countless dates and several boyfriends later, I’ve learned a LOT about what feels good and what doesn’t, and for most of my first marriage, I did NOT feel good. Nor did I feel good in my last relationship.
So why on earth did I stay???
I often ask myself that question, and the answer isn’t an easy one. I guess it was a combination of loyalty, the fact that I was in love with thier potential rather than the reality, and my “glass half full” attitude – I always had hope that things would improve.
Now don’t get me wrong – a positive attitude is a MUCH better option than a negative attitude, but I think that in my case it worked against me because of my focus on their potential rather than the reality of how I felt in their presence.
The last few years have taught me a LOT about being in the moment and really focusing on how I feel right now. So as I embark on my dating journey, I am seeing things very differently.
My new attitude is “If it feels good, I’ll stick around. But as soon as it doesn’t feel good to me, I’m outta there!”… and this has served me well! And to the point that I am being treated so much better than ever before! It’s quite amazing!
I’ve dropped my agenda, I’m no longer focusing on their potential, and really just enjoying the right now. And it feels AMAZING!
As a result of this, I am being pursued by successful, caring men who put my needs before their own. I am being wined and dined, and I don’t think I’ve ever received so many compliments in my entire life!!
I am currently dating three lovely guys who treat me like a queen – and while none of them have “stepped up” and taken things to the next level, it’s only early days, and I’m enjoying every single second!
So when thinking about your current relationship or dates, how good are you really feeling in their presence?
Do you feel cared for? Cherished? Looked after? Happy? Sexy? Excited? Loved? Appreciated? All of the above??
Or is the opposite the truth?
If that’s the case, it’s time to really think about whether your focus is on their potential rather than what’s in front of you right now. xxx
What a beautiful blog! So honest, so true. So scary. I’ve done exactly the same – believed in their potential. Problem is, we are the only ones who can see that potential. Not them. Well written my love xox
Thank you Bron! It’s very scary because I’m not sure if anyone is aware (at first) that they’re falling for one’s potential.
Awareness is the key I guess – I am now focused on what’s right in front of me! 🙂
i have been married for 20 years. i suffer from low self esteem. i am unemployed. my wife pays most of the bills. we stop having sex about 4months now. she might be in love with someone in my community. i dont know what to do.i do not have anymore tears. help me to fix me..please
Hey Juan
I’m so sorry I missed your comment. Why don’t you email me from the Contact page on this blog and I’ll talk to you.
Michelle