Have you ever met someone who struts into a room like they own the place, only to later find out they crumble like a cheap biscuit at the first sign of criticism? Or maybe you know someone who radiates self-love like a walking TED Talk but won’t take a single risk in real life? Congratulations, you’ve just met the poster children for the great divide: confidence vs self-esteem!
Let’s break it down so you can figure out which one you need to work on (it’s probably both).
Confidence: The “Doing” Energy
Confidence is action-based. It’s the thing that gets you up off your couch, hair in a messy bun, and into the world doing the thing. Whether it’s public speaking, setting boundaries, or finally saying no to your neighbour who keeps “borrowing” your WiFi, confidence is about taking action, even if you’re shaking in your metaphorical boots.
How to Build Confidence (Even If You’re a Mess)
- Do the scary thing. Seriously. The more you do, the more your brain realises you won’t actually die from discomfort (I know right???).
- Start small. Confidence isn’t born in one single moment; it’s built in mini-actions. Say hello to a stranger, wear that new and different outfit, post that cringe dance video (ok… maybe don’t do that video!).
- I don’t really like this term, but fake it ‘til you make it. Not in a “lie about your skills” way, but in a “act like you belong here” way. Do what your desired future you would do.
Self-Esteem: The “Being” Energy
Self-esteem, on the other hand, is how you feel about yourself, even when you’re not doing anything impressive. It’s the deep knowing that you’re worthy just as you are, even on bad hair days.
Without self-esteem, you can be the most confident person in the world and still feel like a fraud. It’s like putting a Ferrari engine into a car held together by duct tape (we happen to have one of those in our driveway right now – the car held together by duct tape – not the Ferrari!). It might go fast, but one pothole and it’s all over.
How to Build Self-Esteem (Without Waiting for the Universe to Validate You)
- Speak to yourself like you’d build up your best friend. No more, “Ugh, I’m the worst.” Say, “Wow, look at me trying my best today!”
- Celebrate who you are, not just what you do. You’re worthy even when you’re not smashing goals like an overachiever on steroids.
- Set boundaries. Nothing screams self-worth like refusing to be a doormat. This is a biggie with so many of my clients!
So, Do You Have Confidence or Self-Esteem?
- If you’re all action but secretly feel like a fraud, you’ve got confidence but shaky self-esteem.
- If you believe in yourself but never take action, your self-esteem is high, but your confidence is snoozing on the couch.
- If you have neither… well, we have some work to do. But don’t worry, the only way from here, is up!
Build both, and you’ll be a walking, talking powerhouse. You will be someone who not only believes in themselves but actually does something with that belief. Imagine the energy! Imagine the unstoppable, empowered force you’ll be! (Imagine the people in your life wondering what kind of magical potion you’ve been drinking!!)
So, what’s your next move? Confidence or self-esteem? Or both?
Call to Action
If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself, playing small, or wondering why your affirmations aren’t magically fixing everything, I’ve got you covered. By investing in an Akashic Records Soul Profile & Realignment reading, you will become equipped with knowledge about yourself that you were never previously conscious of. You will know your next steps forward, and your confidence and self-esteem will improve beyond anything you thought possible!
No more sitting on the sidelines. It is time to start living the life you actually want.