Are you caught in an abusive relationship?

I regularly check the statistics of my website so I know what people are interested in, and time and time again I see that many people are caught in an abusive relationship and don’t know what to do.

I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship many years ago now, and can only try to imagine how things would have been if the abuse had turned physical.

A while ago I read a story that talked about abusive relationships and it was noted that in many cases, verbal abuse can eventually turn to physical abuse.

So even if you’re in a verbally abusive relationship, you MUST find a way out of your situation.

I see it this way. When caught in an abusive relationship you have three options:

1. Stay and put up with it

2. Stay and get help

3. Get out of there and get help!

With all three options, especially in the case of a physically abusive relationship, you must put your safety and that of your children (if you have any) first.

Number 1 might feel like the “safest” option right now, but long term things could progress and get worse. Even worse, your children could fall victim to the attacks or even grow up and find abusive partners of their own! This is probably the most damaging long term.

If you must stay (maybe for your safety), then you also need to get some help on how to deal with the abuse. Start off telling a close relative or friend, or even find a professional to help you. Remember though, your partner will not stop hurting you if you continue to let it happen. Remember that. It took me nine long years to wake up to this fact!

If you can get out safely, do so – but get help on how to deal with the wounds you have suffered, either physically and mentally. You don’t want to find yourself in the same situation again.

Remember your safety is paramount when you are in this situation, and trying to reason with an abuser is probably not going to work in many cases.

Abusers tend to be unhappy with very low self esteem (why else would they be like this?), but nothing justifies hurting another individual, no matter what.

Getting help can be as simple as searching online or making a call. Just remember that for as long as you give them permission, they will continue to hurt you.