I’ve been on this planet long enough to know that sometimes your guy is going to withdraw. I also know that it’s 99% of the time unrelated to anything I’ve said or done.
The problem is, as a woman, I’m usually inclined to worry about this – a LOT! And I start telling myself stories, and trying to get into his head, wondering what I have done wrong, or maybe the relationship is over, or or or…!
This kind of thinking can drive you batty! I know this because I’ve done it – a million times!
So if your guy is withdrawing, what can you do?
Well, the first thing is to STOP thinking about him! You can ask him what’s wrong, and if he tells you it’s nothing, or it’s nothing to do with you, then it’s time to take your mind off him and go do something else.
If it is you that’s bothering him, then that’s something else. But for today we’re going to assume that you have done nothing wrong and he’s withdrawing for some unknown reason of his that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Ok, so first you need to understand that most men process their thoughts differently to us women. We tend to want to talk it out with each other, or withour partners. But men are totally different. They tend to internalise their thoughts before they’re prepared to talk things through. I’m not sure this is healthy, but my experience shows that this is how most work through their problems.
Right. So we have that clear. Now what?
I’m going to list below a few of the gazillion things you can do if you sense your man is withdrawing. You can choose to do one of these things, or all of them if you’re that way inclined! But the point here is to take your focus right off him and on to YOU!
Ok here goes:
- Pick up a good book, and read! Get lost in the story! Escape reality for a while!
- Paint your nails
- Do your hair in a fancy style – just for the sake of it
- Arrange to catch up with friends you’ve not seen in a while
- Become a member of www.meetup.com and join some groups which match your interests – this is a great way to meet like-minded people! And it’s good if you’re like me and have not had the chance to make new friends where you live.
- Go to the movies
- Go to lunch/dinner with friends
- If you’re into meditation, get yourself comfortable, and meditate!
- Get involved in a hobby
- Exercise
- Dance around your house while you listen to loud music
- Take up a team sport
- Go rollerblading
- Do anything that’s FUN!
I’ve been big on lists the last couple of days, and you may notice a double-up. But my point here is to really take your focus off your man and put it back where it belongs – on to you! Life is short, and definitely too short to be focused on something that most likely has absolutely nothing to do with you, so get out there and enjoy life!
What will happen is, when your man comes out of his “funk” he’ll come looking for you. And what he will find is not a stressed out shell of a woman, but a beautiful and vibrant example of a woman who embraces life and loves herself enough to forget about him and love herself!
This will bring him closer to you than ever before! 😉
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