When I first read the story about how Rihanna had returned to Chris Brown, even after he had allegedly viciously attacked her, the very first thing that came to my head was that she obviously lacked self esteem (if all this was true – I am somewhat wary of what the media puts out there!).
I read an article last week that confirmed Oprah Winfrey felt the same way.
If you are physically (or even mentally) beaten by a man, what other reason could there be to go back with him? If you felt good about yourself and knew you were worthy of so much better, then you would have shown him the door and never let him back.
On the other hand, many women who find themselves in domestic violence situations feel like they can’t do any better and maybe deserved to be treated badly for whatever reason. Others just feel that they cannot get away from the monsters that make their life a living hell through fear for their own lives and the lives of their families.
Oprah apparently went on to say "if you think you are a wonderful person, somebody hitting you is really offensive to you..".
Having lived in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for nine years, I now have some understanding of why these women remain in such dangerous situations. That is not to say they are doing the right thing for themselves (or their families), however they feel they have no other option.
So before you judge someone for making what seems to be a stupid choice, remember there is a lot more going on than you realise.
If Rihanna continues to put up with abusive treatment, then she is sending a message to Chris Brown, her friends, her family and of course her fans, that this is ok. But it is not ok.
I just hope Rihanna realises that she has to take a stance and take steps to prevent this happening again and send a message to the world that women do not have to be treated this way. Ever.
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