A long time ago, I used to be a bit of a control freak. In fact, I was so good at it that I often didn’t even realise I was being controlling at the time! This is extremely masculine, so I might as well have been a man dressed as a women. Ugh! No wonder I was either butting heads or emasculating my men!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I can now clearly see what I was doing with the men in my life, and how it affected my relationships. It wasn’t pretty.
I wish I’d known this before, because my love life would’ve been soooo much easier! But as they say, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”, and that’s what happened for me.
If your love life isn’t as you wished it would be, there’s a strong chance you’re doing one of the following things, that you need to absolutely STOP doing, starting right now!
Here they are:
1. You’re trying to control your partner – there’s maybe something about him that you don’t like, so you’re trying to get him to change. You could be attempting to manipulate him, or maybe you’re nagging him to change whatever it is you don’t like. Sometimes it’s so subtle, you may not realise you’re doing this, so some self-reflection is needed here, and be honest with yourself.
2. You’re trying to control the outcome – similar to the previous point, you’re wanting things to go a certain way, and you’re doing or saying things to try to change the outcome. You really need to stop all this doing!!!
3. You keep criticising, judging, advising, warning, coaxing, or trying to change him. Please stop this. He doesn’t need another parent, nor does he need another “man” in his life…. Also, you cannot change a man. Ever! Don’t even waste your energy trying to do so! Trust me! 😉
Ok, so there they are. And as you can see, these things are all about doing and about control.
As a woman, it’s important that you do not take on the masculine role of doing and controlling – that’s the man’s job!
If your relationships haven’t gone well in the past, experiment with stopping these things and see if it makes a difference to your love life! I’ve seen it first-hand, and I know you will too! <3
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