How to move on after a relationship breakup

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I recently spent a few magical days in Canada, and while I was over there, I received a call from my boyfriend.

He was calling to tell me that he was going back to his ex wife. They had separated last year, and we had known each other for close to a decade. We had been seeing each other for a couple of months, and something had happened over the weekend to bring him to this decision.

My intuition had been telling me something was up, and there it was. Wow.

My reaction was calm (I think I was in shock because things had been so great with us until this point), and he asked me why I wasn’t yelling at him. I wasn’t angry at him though, so why yell? Also, what would yelling achieve?? It would only make me feel worse and it wouldn’t bring him to change his mind, so I really didn’t see the point. I needed time to process this information.

So instead I wished him well and told him that I hoped (for his sake) that they were able to finally work things out, even though that meant I was alone yet again.

So here I am now, back home. I’m in my house alone, when we had planned for him to come and stay a few days, so that’s bringing up some sad and lonely feelings for me.

These feelings are ok, as long as I don’t let them consume me. He is just a guy, there are many more out there, and history proves (for me at least) that every new guy that has come into my life, has been an improvement on the last.

This gives me hope, because my boyfriend was wonderful. He was sweet, funny, affectionate, smart, and so much more. His only “fault”, which is actually an important and positive trait, is his dedication to his children.

But for now, it’s important that I don’t fall into a negative slump. Negative energy attracts more negative events, so it’s important that I turn this into a positive. So how do I do that?

Here are some pointers of what you can to do move on from a relationship breakup:

  • Set a new goal and start planning on how you are going to achieve it – I’ve decided to go back to Canada next year, and I want to learn to ski!
  • Focus on gratitude. Write down 5 things you are grateful for every day.
  • Get out of the house – don’t lock yourself away from the world, even if that’s exactly what you want to do.
  • Take care of yourself. Exercise regularly, eat healthy, make sure you look great when you go out. If you look good, you feel good.
  • Listen to motivational/inspirational audios.
  • If you’re not yet ready to get out there and date again, make plans with friends. Go out to lunch, catch up with your girlfriends for a few drinks after work.
  • Believe that your last relationship was there to show you what you want/don’t want in a man. My guy had so many awesome traits that the guy before him didn’t have. But I could have been happy with either. It seems the Universe has big plans for me, because the right guy is going to be incredible!
  • Be happy alone. Seems impossible when you’re in a funk, but if you can’t be happy on your own, how on earth can anyone else be happy when you’re around? Find ways to cheer yourself up. Focus only on the good in your life. Think up reasons why having a man in your life would be an inconvenience to you. For me it was about liking my own space. A man will reduce my ability to take my space when I want it.
  • KNOW that there is better out there for you. If you don’t believe there is someone out there for you, then you will be right. If you DO believe there’s an awesome man out there for you, then he is on his way!
  • Be patient. Everything comes to you in its own time, and when you are ready.

I could go on all day, but my main point here is that you MUST focus on the positive in order to achieve positive results in any part of your life.

If you’ve recently experienced a breakup, yes it will be painful. You will feel hurt and sad, and you will wonder what the point of the relationship was.

Either way, if you maintain a positive attitude towards life, it won’t be long before the reason for this breakup will become clear – and you’ll be glad it happened! xxx

Comments

  1. I need to add something to the list of pointers above, and that’s about focusing on your passions.

    What are you passionate about? What can you focus on that you love to do?

    Becoming single after a breakup will free you up to spend more time on these passions – make the most of it, because before long, Mr Right will be standing right in front of you! xxx

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