Should I tell someone that they make me feel inferior?

Should you tell someone that they make you feel inferior?

There are obviously two possible answers to this question:  Yes or No.

Consider this:  What is it about this person that makes you feel inferior? Do you think they are doing it on purpose?  Does it happen often?  Are you being over-sensitive?  If you were to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, do you think they would feel the same way you do?  Do others feel the same way about this person?  How are you perceiving this situation?  If you looked at it from a different angle, would it still look the same?

Also read my post on the subject: http://selfconfidence101.com/self-confidence/nobody-can-make-you-feel-inferior-without-your-consent/.  It’s brief but it does explain how many people don’t even realise they are “making” people feel inferior.

Nobody can actually “make” you feel inferior – that comes from you and the little voice in your head that tells you to feel that way!

If this person’s words or actions are really upsetting to you and you really feel that you need to say something to them, then it is important to think about how you are going to say it.

For example, you might want to approach this person in the following way:

“When you do X in Y situation, I feel like Z”…

Fill in the X with their action/words, Y is the situation (eg. during a meeting, when discussing arrangements for that event last week, etc) and Z is how you felt when they did/said what they did.

Tackling situations in a positive way and avoiding the aggressive approach is usually the best way to solve a conflict, and as I said above, this person may have no idea they are doing what you perceive them to be doing!  On the other hand, they may be fully aware of this and there is probably little you can do to change the way they are.

Your other option is to say nothing and if this is the path you choose, consider the following points:

  • If you choose to say nothing, but plan on stewing on the issue for years to come, then maybe this is not the best option for you!
  • Is the situation really that important, and if not, then maybe it is best to let it go (consider the point above first!)?
  • Is the other person continuing to act in this way, and if so, do you think that saying nothing is the answer to solving the issue?

As you can see, there are different ways to look at the situation and the decision about whether to say something can be a lot more complex than you originally thought!  Look at your options from various angles and make the choice that you believe will work best for you.

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