Moving on after a relationship breakup

I was talking to a fellow trader online last night when he started to tell me about a recent relationship breakup. He had been with his girlfriend for nine years and only two months ago they had split up.

Of course I didn’t want to pry so I am not sure as to why they broke up, but what I determined while talking to him was that he was absolutely devastated at his loss, and while he had asked a couple of girls for their phone numbers recently, he felt it might be too soon after his breakup to move on and call them.

So how soon is too soon to move on and start seeing other people?


I personally think it all depends on the circumstances of the breakup. I know myself that while I didn’t jump into another serious relationship for over a year after separating with my husband (although I dated a little), I had emotionally left that relationship years before I physically left it. So for me, jumping right into another relationship may have been ok and it might have worked, but that’s something I will never know because life decided to take me in a different direction!

If you’re not emotionally ready to move on, how do you get over that past relationship?

I believe the very best thing anyone can do after a breakup is to look at what you gained from it. What are you grateful for? What is the best thing you gained from being in that relationship?

I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for nine years and while I was miserable a lot of the time, I am extremely grateful to my former husband. Why? Because he gave me a beautiful daughter, he showed me what a bad relationship is like so I would know if I ended up in a similar situation again, if I hadn’t married him then I very likely wouldn’t have met my current, wonderful husband, and there was a time (early on in our relationship) when he was a really nice person who was there for me when I needed him, as hard as that is to believe right now!

I could go on all day, but I’m sure you get the idea. No matter how bad the relationship was, or how badly it made you feel, there must be something positive you have taken from it, such as lessons learnt, experiences you have had, children, or like me, the opportunity to meet someone better after that relationship has ended.

How much fun are you to be around right now? How is your ex partner doing? If they’ve already moved on, I’m sure they’re not giving you a second thought right now, so why put yourself through so much pain?

While you may (or may not) be saddened about the ending of a relationship, it has ended, and moping around about it is really not going to do you any favours, and the best gift you can do yourself is to realise that you deserve much better and make a commitment to accept nothing less in the future.

Have a great day!

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