Improve your Self Esteem, Change Your Life – Part 2

In my post yesterday I started talking about how I improved my self esteem, which started off with leaving my marriage.

Now, I’m not saying that everyone who is miserable in their marriage should get out!  There is a lot more to the story, which involved counseling (which he finally agreed to after many years of me suggesting it because he knew that this time I meant business), to him telling me I was a f*&%ing stupid b*&!$ whenever I said something he didn’t like (this was AFTER our counseling session (he only went to one and refused to attend any more) and after he had admitted that what he was doing was wrong!).  Now mind you, he was trying to convince me he had changed and would never call me names again, yet as soon as something didn’t go his way, he’d start.  Did he think I was stupid???  I suppose he did – I’d let him get away with it for 9 years!  I eventually realised that he was not going to change and for the sake of my daughter, I had to get out.

I really do believe that most marriages are worth saving.  Mine wasn’t, probably because I’d left it so long before taking action and I had reached the point where I really didn’t love my husband at all, but someone else’s very likely could be.

Ok, so I left my husband.  I had my daughter, some of our clothes and some pots and pans and a couple of pieces of furniture.  He kept the house, the car, the electrical goods and pretty much everything else.  But I didn’t care.  I had my daughter, and that’s all that mattered.  As I left, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.  It was an amazing feeling…

I had no money either, so my wonderful parents were there with open arms, and all I can say to that is THANK GOD!!!

Before long, with lots of mad saving, I was able to afford the rent on my own place and moved in on a weekend when my daughter was staying with her father.

After the furniture was in and everyone was gone, I sat down in the middle of my lounge room floor and I cried like I’ve never cried before.  I cried about what my life had come to, I cried because I had brought a little girl into this miserable world of mine, I cried, wondering how I had gotten myself into the situation I was in.  I had never felt so alone.

It was at that moment, that I made the  decision to live a happy and successful life from now on.  If not for my sake, then for the sake of my daughter.  I owed at least that much to her.

So I started to think about what I wanted in my life.  I wrote down my goals, I wrote up a list of "requirements" a future partner would need to have before I would even let him in the front door, I started to see that my life could be great and I could one day be truly happy!

Until tomorrow, have a great day!

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