How can they know how I feel unless they have been there?

I decided to become a confidence coach because I know first-hand how it feels to lack confidence and self esteem. I also know how wonderful it is to overcome the negative feelings I had about myself for so many years, and I love to make a positive difference in people’s lives, just by giving them right tools and strategies.

What I also know is that if I had been able to talk to someone who was in the same situation I was all those years ago, then I may not have suffered for so long.

When I was 18 years old I worked as a bank teller and was held up at gunpoint. A gun was pointed at my head and I was told to put the money in the bag. He then threatened us to stay inside until well after he’d left, which of course we did.

My employer arranged counseling which turned out to be a complete waste of time. The counselors didn’t seem to be trained in working with people who had been held up at gunpoint like we had, and I doubt any of them had lived through the same experience.

Around two years later I attended a court case relating to the holdup where myself and my colleagues were reunited (we hadn’t seen each other since the hold up). We all sat down and talked about our experiences over the last two years and how we were coping (I had suffered with nightmares and mood swings, amongst other things).

Spending a day with these people was the best therapy I’d had! It was so comforting to know I wasn’t alone in how I was feeling, and that what I had experienced wasn’t unusual – I wasn’t alone, even though over the last two years I felt I was.

Talking to people who have “been there and done that” is great, because you know for a fact that they have some idea of how you are feeling and of your daily experiences. It’s comforting to know you are not alone.

The Self Confidence 101 forum is a new community I hope will help people who suffer from low confidence and self esteem. Sharing your thoughts, supporting each other or even telling people your success stories will help and inspire others.

You can visit the SC101 forum at

The new year might be a good time to make the decision to start talking about your experiences…!

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