Do you feel like you’re not good enough?

I recently worked with a woman called Gina who felt that she was not good enough. She felt incapable of being satisfied, she hated her appearance and constantly felt regret over the things she said and did each day.

So Gina hides herself away from the world as much as possible, hoping this will help. It doesn’t.

Gina has a boyfriend and she knows that he can see the self hatred she pours over herself, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He wants to help her but doesn’t know where to start. Gina also wonders why he has “settled” for her, because she believes he can do so much better.

She has no direction in her life, she has no interests and she hates to do anything alone. It’s like she can’t stand her own company.

The good news for Gina is that she is aware of what she is feeling and she knows it’s not how she wants to feel and she wants to make changes.

Gina had never asked for help before, so doing so was a huge step for her – this is a turning point in her life for sure!

Now, the first thing I realised for Gina was that she had lost sight of all of her positive points.

Her boyfriend was with her because he WANTED to be! If he didn’t want to be with her, he’d certainly go and find someone else! So I pointed out to Gina that he obviuosly saw something in her that she was failing to see, and he was sticking around because of that.

I did point out to her that the more hatred she poured on herself though, the more chance she had of pushing this wonderful man of hers away.

Now Gina was asking for help in finding new interests in her life, but I felt that before she started looking for new interests, she needed to do some work on herself first!

So here’s what I asked her to try for me:

  • Grab a notebook and a pen
  • Write down each and every little thing that you like about yourself, and everything that is good about you. I don’t care how small that thing is – just write it down!
  • Keep writing until you can’t think of any more.
  • Every day, spend five minutes thinking about all of the things you like about yourself, and write them down. Did you do something good today? Were you particularly kind to somebody today? Did you show some affection for a loved one or did you give your pet extra scratches, just because you love them, and you know they appreciated it? Every little thing counts!

This exercise is wonderful, because its aim is to take your focus off your negative thoughts about yourself, while putting your focus on the good things about yourself.

After only two days of following this exercise, Gina was already starting to feel more positive about her life too. She felt less bored with her life and and is learning to like her own company. She also said that she felt my advice was going to go a long way with her.

Over time, Gina’s perception of herself and her life will improve, and that’s when she’ll be more open to finding new interests, which may seem to “magically” fall into her lap and will be perfect for her! This often happens when you’re in a positive mindset.

Ok, so if you’re feeling down on yourself like Gina was, try this exercise for at least a week (longer is better) and take notice of the difference it makes to your outlook in life. I’m thinking you will feel AMAZED! :)

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