The guy I’ve been dating has disappeared – I don’t want to lose him!

I see different variations of this scenario all the time – but the basics are the same…

“Hi Michelle

I’ve been dating a guy for two months now and he’s stopped contacting me. It’s like he’s disappeared!

I have tried calling and texting him, but he hasn’t replied, and I feel devastated at the thought of losing him!

How do I deal with this?

Mindy”

Ok… for starters, it’s only been two months. It’s not like you’ve been in a full-blown relationship for two years, so it’s time to put things into perspective.

Also, if this guy isn’t just hiding in his man cave for a bit and has actually decided he doesn’t want to see you anymore, but was too gutless to tell you, then here’s some pointers on how you should look at this:

  • Do you really want to be with a guy who thinks it’s ok to just disappear without a word?
  • Do you really want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you?
  • Are you worth so little that the only guy you could possibly want, doesn’t feel the same way about you?
  • If this guy doesn’t want to be with you, then what exactly have you “lost”? Isn’t he doing you a favour by leaving?
  • It’s time to look within – why are you so attached to a guy after only two months? Is it possible he sensed this in your vibe and it turned him off?

So many of us tend to get attached very early on in a dating scenario, and this is usually our undoing.

I look at dating like this… At worst, this guy is going to become a friend. If it’s more then that’s a bonus. This means that I have no expectations on the guy and we can both get to know each other in an easy and relaxed way. :)

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