Nagging vs Leaning Back – what would you choose?

Let’s face it – guys can be clueless sometimes, and often they do things that seem to be with no thought as to our feelings. What’s with that??

So while I’m a huge advocate of keeping the communication lines open, this does NOT mean that I’m all for letting a man know, every time we are upset by something he has or hasn’t done!

Over the last four years, I’ve learned something really important:

Men respond better to actions, not words.

What does this mean?

Ok, so let’s say your guy spends too much time at the pub, drinking with his friends…

You have two options here:

  1. Every time he goes to the pub, let him know you’re not happy about it.
  2. Lean waaaayyyyy back!

Alright, so how well do you think the first option is going to work? How long do you think it’ll be before he perceives this as constant nagging? How long before he starts making plans to be at the pub more than he’s home, because he’s sick of that constant nagging? How much fun are you to be around when you do this??

So what about option 2? What’s “leaning back” anyway?

Leaning back is not about sitting so far back on your chair so that only the back two legs are touching the floor (in case you were thinking that), but rather about your mindset.

Leaning back is about taking your mind OFF what he’s doing, OFF him, and ON to you!

Stop making this guy the centre of your universe! YOU should be the centre of your universe, not him! That’s why leaning back is soooo important!

This will take time and practise to master, but here are a few things you can to do help you lean back from this guy – it’s about stepping back from actions you don’t like, rather than reminding him verbally, every time he does something that upsets you, plus it’s a good way to stay in your feminine power, and to really give yourself the loving it deserves.

To lean back, you could try the following:

  1. Make a list of things you love to do. Pick something off that list, and go and do it. Make sure it’s something you really need to focus on, so you’re not thinking about him.
  2. Catch up with a girlfriend you’ve not seen in a while. If you can’t go out, call someone.
  3. Read a really good book that you can really get stuck into.
  4. Go for a run or go to the gym and work out.
  5. Light some candles, put on some relaxing music, and take a bath – really pamper yourself for a bit.
  6. Paint your nails.
  7. Work out your purpose in life – do something that makes your heart sing.
  8. Declutter a room in your house.
  9. Cook up a storm while playing loud and uplifting music.
  10. Give back to the world – do some volunteer work.

Whatever you decide to do from this list (or a list you make yourself), make sure you focus 100% on the task. Whenever you notice your thoughts drifting back to him, mentally (or even out loud) say “Stop!”, then shift your thoughts back to the task.

The whole idea of this is about boosting your vibe so that when he returns, you will be your beautiful, warm and inviting self…You will feel happier and more relaxed and feel better about yourself (because you’ve done something that makes you feel good), and you will be someone he WANTS to come home to, and not someone he is trying to avoid.

You will also find that over time, this will really help you to see your own value. Stop making your guy more important to you, and stop letting him take up so much of your headspace.

Do this over the next few weeks, and watch your life change. xxx

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