Loving your man more than you love yourself

Once upon a time I was that girl, the one who loved her man much more than she loved herself. As a result of this, my man didn’t treat me very well at all. In fact, he was verbally and emotionally abusive towards me, and also very controlling.

I loved him so much that I stayed with him for 9 long years, putting up with the cruelest words that came out of his mouth.

Then one day I gave birth to my first child… a precious baby girl. I immediately understood the meaning of unconditional love, and it was so intense! I never knew that love could feel like this! It was amazing!

I vowed that I would do anything I could to protect my baby girl from harm – anything!! And when my man would start yelling abuse at me, I would take my daughter to her room, out of harm’s way, so she didn’t have to hear her father speaking that way to me.

But as my little girl started to grow older, it became more and more difficult to hide her from the yelling and abuse, and I made a decision…

I decided that I was no longer going to tolerate another day of my man’s abuse – I did not want my daughter to grow up thinking that this was normal. I would never have forgiven myself if in 15-20 years time my daughter found herself in a similar type of relationship. So I left, taking my baby with me.

The saddest part about this story (and it’s a true story), is that I didn’t love myself enough to leave that man when the abuse started. Instead my love for my daughter was my reason for leaving. And it took me many years to learn to love and forgive myself for what I endured during those years and what I put my daughter through. All I can say is thank goodness my love for my daughter got me out of there, because my love for myself certainly wasn’t going to!

What’s interesting about this, is that I doubt I would even attract such a man into my life now, because I am so far above someone like that. He clearly had (and still has) serious insecurity issues, which drove him to treat me that way. These days I prefer a man who oozes confidence and has a positive outlook on life! This guy wouldn’t even get a first date!

That is because I do love who I have become. I know I am a good person, and I know I have a lot to give. I also know that any man would be more than happy (ok, let’s face it – he would be thrilled!) to have a woman like me in his life!

I also know that if I were dating a man who didn’t treat me how I want and deserve to be treated, I would be more than happy to walk and never look back. And I think the men around me know that, and treat me as a high value woman as a result.

All too often I see women pining over a guy who’s broken up with them, and I cringe. Why on earth would a woman want to be with a guy who doesn’t even want to be with them??? And the answer is, they obviously love him more than they love themselves, otherwise they’d be thinking “Oh well, his loss – he doesn’t get to spend another second with me!”.

Who do you love more?

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