How to create a happy relationship

Even if your relationship isn’t great right now, there are some things you can do to try to turn things around.  Often what happens when things are going sour is that both parties begin to feel unloved and unappreciated.

It’s common when you’re feeling this way to begin an ongoing cycle of criticism of your man.  And he probably does the same thing too.

But you must remember one thing:  You cannot change a man – you can only make changes within yourself!

I cannot stress this enough!  Often what happens when things are bad is that you begin blaming him for everything that’s wrong with your relationship.  But I’m sad to say, that a relationship rarely goes sour thanks to just one of you – it usually takes two to send it down the tubes!  So while you can’t change him, you CAN change yourself, and you will be amazed at what a difference this can make to your relationship!

So what happens when a man feels criticised or unappreciated by his partner?  What does he do?

Look at this list and see if your man is doing any of these things:

  • He stops communicating any appreciation for you
  • He begins to fee like he has failed in life and in your relationship
  • He loses his passion – for life and for you
  • He will search out ways to express his frustrations – either directly or indirectly
  • He will begin to avoid you and will find excuses to spend time away from you
  • He will begin to shut you out – you will lose intimacy with him
  • He will no longer be there for you like he used to be

Every time you criticise him, he begins to shut down – and shut you out, and sadly, unless you become aware that you’re doing this, you probably won’t notice it’s happening at first.

When you think about it, when you criticise a man, you’re expressing to him that you want him to change.  But men do NOT like being told what to do – especially not by a woman!  So the more you try to tell him what to do, the less likely you are to get the results you want!

So how can you create a happy relationship?  How can you turn things around so your partner wants to be with you, is passionate about his life, and loves to do things that make you happy?

There are three things a man needs to feel for this to happen:

  1. Acknowledged
  2. Appreciated
  3. Admired

Let’s explore these in more detail…

When a man feels acknowledged for the good things he’s done, he knows that he’s doing something that’s worthwhile.  It could just be that he works extremely hard day after day, and you acknowledge the contribution he’s making to the household.

When a man feels appreciated, he knows that every effort he makes isn’t for nothing.  He knows you appreciate what he has done and feels good about himself for making you happy.  Believe it or not, men LOVE to make their women happy! And if you’re showing him appreciation for even just the smallest things, then he will know he’s on the right track!

Men love to be admired.  I suppose from a women’s perspective, that could look a bit like an ego thing, but either way, if your guy is extra smart or skilled at something, or if he’s recently achieved something, show him admiration.  Let him know that you think he’s great in an admiring way!

None of these ideas require him to actually make any changes.  This is all about you and how you communicate with him and consciously work on noticing the small positive things and acknowledging them.

So my suggestion to you is to begin trying these things (remember to be authentic and do not go over the top!), and watch for positive changes.  I am almost certain you will be very surprised at how quickly things can change for the better!  😉

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