How do I get my ex back?

Ugh! I hear women asking this question all too often, and to be honest, it’s a cringe-worthy thought. Why on earth would ANYONE want an ex back??

Aren’t they an ex for a reason???

Also, why would someone even want someone who doesn’t even want them??? Do they really think that little of themselves??? The mind boggles!

Ok, ok… so let’s say for a minute that getting your ex back had the potential for positive results (I’m not sure how, but bear with me)… What would be the best way to get him back?

Well… it all depends of course, why you guys broke up in the first place, but bottom line is this… You MUST be perceived as a woman of value… And I’m not talking just about his perspective – YOU must see yourself as valuable too!

So how do I get my ex back exactly?

There are several things you should consider and try, such as:

  • Start dating others – it seems counter intuitive to do such a thing, but you really need to shift your focus off him and therefore shift your vibe.
  • Understand that pining over that guy will only make you look low value to that guy. Why would he want to go back to someone who has lowered her value? Ick!
  • Be aware that he’s unlikely to EVER come back until you’re at a point where you really don’t care if he ever comes back or not! I know I know, that’s weird, but it’s true! It’s called “Detaching from the outcome”!
  • Pining over a man creates a negative energy around you, which turns a guy off. Work on shifting that. Or do you want to keep turning him off?
  • How do I shift negative energy? Date others!!! Pamper yourself. Go out with your girlfriends. Focus on your passion!
  • Do NOT chase him! Don’t make up excuses to text him or see him. Just leave him be!

Finally, one thing you really really should get in your head is that if he’s going to come back at all, he’s NOT going to come back and offer you the relationship you want until you work on yourself.

You need to get yourself to a point where you’re ok whether he comes back or not.

So how badly do you want him back? Enough to try some or all of the items listed above?

If you do this, what you may find out along the way, is that he was never up to your standard anyway… πŸ˜‰


  1. Good article! Can you please elaborate on two points?

    1. Pining energy and why it is bad and works against you?

    2. Why “he’s NOT going to come back and offer you the relationship you want until you work on yourself” why is that? What happens if when he comes back your still the same? Why wont that work? And what changes do you have to make? Doesnt he need to change too?

  2. Hi Hannah

    I’m happy to elaborate for you…

    1. Pining energy does nothing more than make you feel more anxious and is basically showing you (and him) that you value him more than you value yourself.

    A man can sense this energy, and it can feel like pressure, which is why it works against you.

    2. Ok… you’re not together now, for a reason. So how can you expect to keep doing the same thing over and over again, and expect to get a different result? Why would a man want a woman who is low value?

    Don’t you think that a man would rather be with a woman who he believes is high value? One who he can feel proud to have by his side?

    Working on yourself so you’re at a point where you know for a fact that you’ll be ok with him or without him in your life, is your best bet in any type of future with this guy, IF he comes back.

    This is because your perception of yourself has improved – you have faith in yourself that you will be fine, no matter what.

    Men really do love a woman who is confident and self-assured. So why not become that woman, if not for him, but definitely yourself!

    But I should warn you though…

    Just because you’re working on yourself, doesn’t mean he will work on himself… and once you begin to work on yourself, there’s a very high chance that he will become less and less attractive to you – and better quality men will come along and replace this one, literally leaving him in their dust!

    Think you can handle that? I’m sure there are much worse scenarios that you could imagine! πŸ˜‰

  3. Thank-you for responding- I am gonnna work on the pinign stuff- I went out last night and had met a nice married man LOL but he seemed interested- Im not going to bother with him but it reminded me of what it felt like for someone to actually be interested in you- so thinking of my ex its like damn he doesnt even seem interested- so now he’s kind of turning me off anyways. Today was his BDay and I didnt say hbd or anything- will work on self improving enxt though i have been doing that for over a year now

  4. I’m so glad you’re getting out there, and although that guy was married, I’m soooo glad to read that you were reminded of how it felt like to have someone interested in you – this is what it’s all about and I think that after a while of being focused on someone who ISN’T interested, we kind of forget what it feels like, right? :)

    And a huge congrats on holding off on the hbd message – this is progress!

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