Confidence in relationships

Sometimes I think it’s easier to have confidence in the early stages of a relationship. At this point you are still setting your boundaries, and this is therefore a perfect time to let your partner know what you will and will not tolerate.

As my first marriage neared it’s end, my husband and I went to a marriage counselor and after hearing the goings on in our marriage (mainly him being nasty and cruel and me putting up with it), she told me that I was also a contributor to the verbal and emotional abuse I endured.

She went on to say that one of the main reasons he continued to treat me badly was because I continued to let him. If, right from the start I had been firm and told him and proved to him that I was not going to put up with such treatment (through my words and my actions), then maybe our marriage wouldn’t have gone down the road it had.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it didn’t help me then – our marriage was over, but I did learn from it. In fact, when I reentered the dating scene, I really stuck to my guns about what I would and would not tolerate, and I probably broke a few hearts along the way!

I know it was all worth it, because I ended up with a man who knows I won’t put up with any rubbish!

On the other hand, I have to remain conscious of the fact that he shouldn’t have to put up with rubbish from me either.

Remember, you get out of life what you put into it and what goes around comes around. Be the best person you can be, and know that you deserve to be treated right by everyone.

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