Is your weight weighing you down?

Many of my coaching clients suffer not only from low confidence or self esteem, but they also have weight problems. This might be a case of what came first, the chicken or the egg.

Are they lacking in confidence because they are overweight, or are they overweight because they lack confidence?

An alarmingly large percentage of people suffer from weight problems and it is certainly more than just about the food.

Share This

Why won’t she leave him??

Have you ever wondered why women suffering from verbal or physical abuse stay with their abusive partners?

I can’t speak for all women who put up with such treatment, but I can speak for myself.

If you’ve not read my previous posts, then you may not realise that I was verbally and emotionally abused for around 9 years by my former husband.

It wasn’t constant, but it was enough to push my self esteem so low that at times I wondered if I would be better off dead.

So why did I stay?

There were a number of reasons (and yes, if you’ve never been in a similar situation you may wonder about my intelligence here!) which I will cover now:

1. I felt I had nowhere to go (despite the fact that my parents lived nearby and would have been there for me no matter what).

2. I didn’t want to admit I had "failed" to myself or others.

3. Financial reasons - if I left, then there would be a huge financial mess to clean up.

4. I was afraid of the unknown - my self esteem was so low that I really wasn’t sure I would be up to surviving on my own (what the..?).

5. I didn’t think I would cope as a single mother.

There were plenty of other "excuses", but as you can see, the reasons above were either not justified or they were just plain lame.

Looking back I know these excuses were lame but at the time, they were very valid and a strong reason to stay.

Another thing our marriage counselor said to me was that because the abuse I suffered wasn’t physical, I felt I didn’t have a tangible reason to leave. I suppose if he had hit me (several times I tried to get him to!), I would’ve been out that door in an instant! (I hope!)

Share This

Can’t get a decent date? You’re probably the reason why!

Ok, that sounds harsh, but think about it. How much fun are you to be around?

If you have low confidence or self esteem, then chances are the people you meet will pick up on it.

I once suffered from low confidence and self esteem, and I am amazed at how this affected the types of guys I attracted into my life. There were some shockers!

Since improving my self esteem, the quality of my dates improved significantly. A while back, I asked a male friend of mine about this and he told me that guys with low self confidence or esteem were too afraid to talk to me because I seemed so confident and they felt intimidated.

So my moral of the story here is this: You attract what you are!

I don’t mean that literally, but more like you attract people who are what you seem to them. Gawd, that sounded confusing…!

Share This

6 ways to improve your self esteem

I received an email today which talked about different ways to improve your self esteem, and I thought I’d share them here.

1. Greet others with a smile and look them in the eye. This gives people the impression you have confidence and self respect.

2. Always accept gifts or compliments graciously.

3. Bragging is not on. As in number 2 you should accept gifts or compliments graciously - not brag about them.

4. Talk positive! This is my very favourite. Talking constantly about your problems only does more to get you focused on those problems. You’re also not much fun to be around.

5. We all come across difficult or stressful times. Instead of stressing about them, do something productive.

6. Take rejection as an opportunity to better yourself. If you fail at something, learn from that failure and don’t wallow in self pity. And never make the same mistakes again!

Share This

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 8 of 8

Reflect on your progress regularly - look back on a regular basis (at the most, once a week) at all you have achieved and pat yourself on the back for it!

Building your confidence is an ongoing process, and each small step is significant. Keep the momentum going and start by committing to make some positive changes in your life. Take an honest look at your life and take the first steps today.

You will be glad you did!

Share This

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 7 of 8

If your weight is making you feel less confident, then you must do something about it - Take up walking if other exercise is too much. Walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Eat a sensible. NEVER skip meals! I cringe when I hear my overweight friends telling me they’ve been skipping meals and then wondering why they’re not losing weight - don’t they know that doing that decreases their metabolism? Low metabolism = weight GAIN! I do believe that you should be allowed the odd treat though - as long as the portion size isn’t too much and you’re not having too many!

Share This

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 6 of 8

Learn some new skills - Learning a new skill is always a great way to help improve your confidence. It gives you a great sense of achievement once you mastered the skill. Try to do this on a regular basis.

Share This

Tips for Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 5 of 8

If your job is weighing you down, is it worth changing? - Is your problem with the job itself or is it with your boss or coworker? If it’s with the job itself, then is there opportunity to change jobs within the organisation? If it’s with an individual, can it be resolved? What have you done about it? Really think about this, and if you have done something about it, how did it work for you? Can you try something else? If these issues can’t be resolved, then maybe it is time for a career change.

Share This

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 4 of 8

Start to replace your negative thoughts about yourself with positive thoughts - start a list of good things about yourself. What are you good at (there has to be at least ONE thing you are good at!)? What are your best physical attributes (again, there has to be at least one thing you like about yourself, deep deep down!)? Are you a nice person? Are you kind to animals? Do you care about other people? This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I’m sure you get what I mean here.

Share This

Tips for Improving Your Self Confidence - Part 3 of 8

Once all negative influences are removed from your life, take a good look at your negative thoughts - Are you your own worst enemy? If you have low confidence or self esteem, then I bet the answer is “yes”! If this is the case, then now is the time to stop. Whenever you start thinking of negative thoughts, start to think of something good and positive. Even something unrelated.

Share This

Next Page »