A little act of kindness can go a long way…

Pay it forward - Kindness Cards

A few weeks ago I was satisfying my Facebook addiction when I came across a link to a site that was all about celebrating kindness and wisdom.  Sounds nice, but what was it about?

What caught my eye was that they were talking about “paying it forward”.  You know, when you perform an act of kindness without any expectation of anything in return.

This site offers these little cards, which allow you to perform these little acts of kindness, in a very cool and fun way!  And this is how it works…

  1. Think of a kind act – Think up something nice to do for someone.  So you could pay for someone’s coffee, leave flowers on a colleague’s desk or send a card to a friend, telling them how wonderful they are.
  2. Act it out – Anonymously perform your little act of kindness.  Don’t let on it was you!
  3. Leave a Kindness Card – This card tells the person about your kind act and asks them to repeat the game with someone else.

Are you living in Australia and want to get your own FREE set of Kindness Cards?  Visit http://wakeupproject.com.au/ and they’ll post them to you!

If you’re not lucky enough to live in the world of Oz, why not make up a set of your own?  :)

Who is the prize? You or him??

Butterfly 70x70

I am a member of many forums and groups where women come together to give advice and support each other in working their way through relationships, and in particular, difficult ones.

What I’ve observed over the last couple of years is that soooo many women cling to and pine over some men, who clearly don’t want anything to do with them, or at best, just want to be friends – no relationship is on the table, at all!

Why do they do this?

Why do they make a guy a priority when he’s only treating them only as an option???

My guess is that they don’t truly value themselves as the prize. If they did value themselves more, they would be thinking “His loss!” rather than “How can I get him back???”. Ick!

As you may have gathered from my posts, I’ve been single for about a year now, and I’ve never been happier. Yes, I would love to have a man in my life who I can spend time with and who is just there for me, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to settle for less than what I believe I’m worthy of!

I’m getting plenty of offers, even from across the globe, from men who would kill to even go on a date with me! But in the last year, only one has caught my attention. And funnily enough, he lives across the globe, dammit!

So… my predicament is this…

Yes I know he likes me – “A lot”, and yes we only recently met while he was here for two weeks, and yes we clicked straight away. And I felt something very strong for him.

But…

He’s not offered me anything. No “relationship”, no exclusivity, nothing. So to handle this, I’ve done exactly what I should be doing – I’m continuing to date others and still getting myself out there and enjoying my life. If he’s offered me nothing, then why would I hold out for him? To do so would be CRAZY!

If by some miracle he finds a way that we can be together and steps up and offers me what I want, then great – we’ll see what’s on the table and go from there. But bottom line is that I deserve the best and I will not settle for less than that.

Yes I really like this one, but I value myself much more than I value him, and I will live my life accordingly.

Who is the prize in your relationship?

Counting down to the end of 2013

Butterfly 70x70

Hi everyone! I didn’t post a Merry Christmas post this year because;

a) I’m the worst blogger ever; and
b) I’ve used the last week or so to just have some “me” time and be with my kids.

I’m not religious, but I love Christmas, as it’s a time to take a break from work and spend quality time with family. I was lucky enough to get two weeks off work this year, and I’m making the most of the time, let me tell you!

As 2013 draws to a close, I’ve also been reflecting on what has been an incredible year. So much has happened, so many changes, and I’ve grown personally too. It’s definitely been a turning point in my life, and I have a very good feeling that 2014 is going to bring about some exciting times!

Today I’ve started looking into ways to get in shape. I’m going to be following the Fit Yummy Mummy “Little black dress” program. I’ve really been quite slack with my workouts and eating lately, and it’s time to get back on track!

Thankfully I’ve never really struggled with my weight, but looking AND feeling great is important to me. So a change to what I eat on a daily basis and an increase in physical activities it is!

So 2014 is going to kick off with a better looking/feeling me, I’m going to focus more on my business activities, therefore improving my financial situation, and as for my love life, well… it could be better, but I think I’m on the right track!

How is your 2014 looking? :)

Full Half Glass Twinterview

Butterfly 70x70

I recently had the pleasure of being “Twinterviewed” by a parent of one of the boys my daughter plays soccer with.

This Twinterview involved me being asked several short questions relating to personal development, where I had to respond with short answers of 140 characters.

It was actually quite an enjoyable experience – and it didn’t hurt one little bit!

To check out the Twinterview, please visit http://www.fullhalfglass.com/twinterview-michelle-from-selfconfidence101-com/

Don’t criticise, condemn or complain

Butterfly 70x70

I can’t believe it’s taken me sooooo long to get my hands on “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. I’ve only just started reading, but am loving it already!

I finished Chapter 1 last night, which was titled “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”, which was basically saying “Don’t criticise, condemn or complain”.

Hmmm….

One part of this chapter particularly moved me. It was a father writing to his son, who he was watching sleep peacefully. He was talking of the way he spoke to his son, about how impatient he had been with him, how short he was with him, and the remorse he felt over how he had been interacting with his son that day and in the past too.

What he realised, was that he was “condemning” his son for not being exactly like him.

I thought about how I interact with my children, and while I have a great relationship with both of my girls, I realised that I’m nowhere near as patient as I could be with them. Sadly, I’ve not realised until now, how much this can affect them.

So… starting NOW I choose to watch how I interact with my beautiful daughters. All too soon they’ll be growing up and living their own lives, and life’s too short not to make the most of every moment!

Changing our bad habits starts with becoming aware of aspects of ourselves that we could improve on. That’s what the very first chapter of this book did for me. WOW!

What is the WORST thing that could happen?

Butterfly 70x70

When caught up in a situation where I want to do something but feel afraid, my first thought turns to this:

What is the WORST thing that could happen if I did this?

If the worst thing that could happen does not involve the sky falling in, the world ending, or some other great world tragedy, it kind of puts things in perspective for me.

Right now I’m in the midst of working on a launch of a business, which is going to involve me talking to people who I see as potential leaders and people who have vision. And the thought scares the living daylights out of me!!

But when I step back and think about the worst thing that could happen, I have come up with the following outcomes:

  • They could say no (and so what?)
  • They could look at me funny (OMG!)
  • They might say something negative about it (Uh, that’s an issue because…?)
  • They might think less of me (their loss?)
  • They might try to criticise what I’m doing (and if that’s the case, they clearly don’t have the same vision I have, so what’s the issue?)

So as you see, there’s really NOTHING for me to be afraid of!

What about you? Is fear holding you back from getting out there and doing what you want to do in life?

If so, try what I’ve done – work out what the worst possible outcomes could be, and work with them. Are the outcomes REALLY that bad? Try to put them in perspective.

If a friend was facing a similar situation, what advice would you give them (sometimes it’s easier to see another person’s situation with much more clarity)?

Ok, so now you’re thinking that what you want to do isn’t so scary, right?? 😉

Do you have a problem? What’s good about it?

Butterfly 70x70

Ok I’m sure when you read the title of this post you thought “How can something be good about having a problem?”, right?

Having the problem itself isn’t ideal, but if you learn to look for the positives in every situation you face, you’re going to notice that your life is going to take a dramatic turn for the better…

The reason for this is because if we focus of the negatives in any situation, the negatives seem bigger. But if you focus on the positives in any situation, the positives seem bigger. And what you focus on you attract more of!

When I lost my first baby, I was absolutely devastated. It felt as though all of my hopes and dreams had come crashing down, and my little precious bundle was gone.

At the time, it was difficult to see any positives – my baby had died and life therefore sucked. And to make matters worse, at the time I was hearing stories of teens sleeping around and falling pregnant to men they did not know, and either having abortions or giving their babies up for adoption. So why is it that me, a married woman who desperately wanted to have a child of her own had her baby taken away from her, when these girls didn’t? It seemed so unfair!

But soon after this happened, I decided to focus on the positives. It was common for women to miscarry, and as the doctor said, if I was able to fall pregnant the first time, then I would have a good chance of falling again. So I chose to focus on these things rather than on what I had lost.

Only weeks later I knew exactly why my baby did not make it. It was making way for a precious little girl who would teach me what unconditional love was all about. And she would grow up to be the most beautiful-natured 14 year old you could ever meet (who would’ve thought????). 😉

She told me recently that she had mentioned to some friends that I was her best friend. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me to hear that from her, and I am so grateful that although my first baby was lost, I was given something so beautiful in return…

It is sometimes difficult to find the positives in some situations, but once you make the decision to turn something negative into a positive, things truly turn around…

What is your “Why”?

Butterfly 70x70

I was at a seminar tonight and was pleased to hear some inspiring stories of people who have achieved great success in a business I am now involved in.

A friend of mine drove us there tonight, and on our way home she said a few things which really helped me to see just how important knowing why you’re striving to succeed is so important. Without that “why”, you will soon lose momentum then stop.

You see, her problem right now is that she doesn’t have that “why”. She doesn’t know what it is. And because of that, she’s not nearly as focused or as driven to succeed in this business as I am right now.

So what are your reasons behind why you’re doing what you do right now?

Do you want to provide a better life for your children?

Do you want to achieve freedom to do what you want, when you want?

Do you want to take overseas holidays every year?

Do you want to help a specific charity?

One of the things I was encouraged to do when I started my new business was to write out 100 dreams. 100 things I wanted to be, do or have, if money or time weren’t a factor.

Write down your 100 dreams and read that list often as a reminder of why you get up every day and do whatever it is you’re doing!

Your personal development efforts should never stop… ever!

Butterfly 70x70

Building your confidence and self esteem is an ongoing process, and once you get there (wherever “there” is), it’s no reason to stop.

We live in an ever-changing world, and it’s important and essential to keep working on yourself – forever!

I’ve recently become involved in a business opportunity where the company insists that daily personal development activities are essential for anybody wanting to achieve success. I agree!

With that in mind, I try to read for at least 15 minutes to half an hour every day. I also listen daily to CDs which I’ve copied onto my phone, on personal development topics. When I run out of CDs to listen to, I listen to them again!

It’s funny how many things you missed the first time!

Getting into the habit of doing these things does several things, but most importantly, it keeps you feeling positive and focused on where you want to go.

If you can’t afford books or CDs, look for personal development topics online. Websites such as this one are a great start, and as you grow personally, you’ll probably find that your finances do to – and then you can start buying those books and CDs! 😉

Have a great day!

6 core needs for happiness and fulfillment

Butterfly 70x70

According to Tony Robbins, we have 6 core needs which need to be met in order for us to live a happy and fulfilling life.

These needs are:

  1. Certainty – this is a need for security and comfort
  2. Uncertainty – this is a need for change and variety
  3. Significance – this is a need to feel important, wanted and worthy
  4. Love and connection – this is a need to feel loved and connected with others
  5. Growth – this is a need to learn emotionally, spiritually and intellectually
  6. Contribution – this is a need to give to others, to give beyond ourselves

Once you have an understanding of these needs, it’s easy to see how they play a huge part in your daily decision making. The reason for this is because each and every decision you make in your life is based on these core needs.

Over the coming weeks and months I will explore these needs in great detail, sharing my own story of what I have done in my life to meet each one.