How can I reduce anxiety and stress, and what does gravity have to do with it?

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You’re probably reading the title of this post and wondering what I’m going on about, right?

Well… gravity (or at least thinking about it) has a LOT to do with reducing anxiety and stress, as it is all about how you frame situations you are facing.

In order to make some sense, I will tell a story now, and hopefully it will all come together for you!

Back in the year 2000, I was working for one of Australia’s major banks and had been working there for almost 5 years. One day, we were all called into a meeting – that is, several hundred of us were all called into a meeting! My coworkers and I knew something was up!

It turns out they were moving operations to another state and our office was closing down. We had the option to request a transfer, otherwise our positions were being made redundant and we would need to seek work elsewhere. I was pretty happy about this news, as it meant a fresh new start for me, however some of my coworkers were extremely upset.

To help us to cope with the upcoming change, the bank set up various “educational” sessions. In one such session they brought in a man to speak to us.

What he had to say was something I will never forget and it’s helped me to deal with so many stressful situations in my life – what he said was freaking awesome! And here goes (I hope I can do his words justice)!
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Have you ever heard of gravity?

That’s right, it’s that “thing” that keeps you stuck to the ground, it’s that thing that stops you floating off into space. It’s that thing that makes my pen drop from one hand to the other (at this point he demonstrates holding his right hand up while holding a pen, and then he lets go of it. His left hand is ready to catch the falling pen).

See that? Gravity just made my pen drop into my left hand. That’s what gravity does!

Right.. so we all know what gravity is and what it does. So hands up anybody who spends hours upon hours each day, worrying about gravity.

He drops the pen from one hand to another again.

Anybody?

No hands are raised.

So nobody spends hours each day worrying about gravity, huh? We all know it exists and what it does, but we spend no time at all worrying about it, because it just “is”! It’s just there, we have no control over it, it makes things fall, it keeps us stuck to the earth, and it makes our boobs sag!

The audience agrees.

Ok… so we know it is there and we know we can’t control it, so we don’t spend any energy worrying about it… because worrying about it won’t make it go away, will it? It’s just there. It just IS.

The audience agrees again.

Ok, so why do we spend so much time worrying about other events and “things” in our lives that we have no control over…?

The audience is silent, possibly pondering this very good question!

Surely worring about those won’t make them go away either, right?

Again the audience is silent.

You see, so many of us spend all of our time worrying about events or things we have absolutely no control over. Why do we do that?

We know that worrying about it won’t change it or make it go away. We know that worrying about it won’t fix things. So why do we spend all of our time worrying about it, when instead we should be working out how we deal with the situation!!!

So here’s my pen (holds up pen). I know gravity will make it drop, so what do I do? I get my other hand ready to catch it! That’s how I’m dealing with gravity! Saggy boobs? Wear a supportive bra!

Can you see where I’m getting at here?

Here you all are, facing redundancies as your jobs are moving to another state. You can spend all of your time worrying about it, or you can instead put your energy into working out how to deal with it!

How many of you have started applying for new jobs? Maybe you wanted to start your own business, and this is your opportunity to do so!

You have no control over the decision your employer has made, but you sure as hell can control what you do about it from this point on! Worrying about it will not change the fact that your employer has made this decision, so it’s now time to think about what you CAN control and what you can do about this situation!

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By now you’ve probably worked out how life changing this concept was for me. I no longer sweat the small stuff. I no longer stress about situations I can’t control. I also no longer worry about other people’s actions, as I have absolutely no control over them either. Instead I focus on what I can control and what I can do about a situation!

So no matter what your situation, whether it’s the loss of a job due to redundancy like what happened to me, your guy cheated on you, or you failed that test… you can’t control those things, just as I couldn’t. But you can control what you do about it and how you react to it.

  • Lost your job? Start a job hunt asap!
  • Your guy cheated on you? Reflect on your part in the relationship and work on what you can do better next time (fyi there are no excuses for cheating, and I’ll never condone it, however it’s always good to reflect on how you can enter the next relationship as a better person), forgive him for being dumb enough to lose the best thing he ever had, and put yourself back out there! Or instead, choose to spend more time with your girlfriends and pamper yourself for once.
  • Failed the test? Nothing can change the fact that you have failed the test. Can you re-sit the test? If so, study MUCH hdarder! If not, you’ve learned a big lesson and you’ll need to take it on the chin. What else CAN you do to get past this?

I think I’ve rambled on for long enough, but I think you get the idea. Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t!

What to do if things aren’t going your way

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I’ve been in this situation so many times when things don’t seem to be going my way. In the past I would feel frustrated, upset or angry. But now? It’s a completely different story!

Here’s the thing….

I know there are some things in life that I cannot control, so I don’t spend an ounce of energy worrying, crying, getting angry or upset about it. Instead I ask myself this:

“What else can I do?”

You may not be able to control the situation, but you can control what you do about it!

So if things aren’t going your way right now and you have no control over some or all factors, what else can you do? Focus on that instead of the problem, and you will go a long way towards improving your life! xxx

A belated happy new year!

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After a rollercoaster of a 2015, I am really looking forward to what’s to come in 2016 and already it’s gotten off to a good start! 😉

I’ve already made some positive changes in my life, signing up for an online exercise bootcamp, and working on improving my diet! I’m not getting any younger, so I know this is something I not only need to do, but also need to stay consistent with.

Consider now as the time to make some positive changes in your life. They don’t have to be significant – any change, big or small, is a good thing!

What changes are you kicking off 2016 with?

The Wheel of Life – How I’m faring so far this year

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wheel of lifeThe life coach in me has done quite a bit of reflecting today, given another year is almost done – can you believe it??

I’m reflecting on the various areas of my life and where they’re at right now, and I thought I would share…

Finance 7/10 – I’m doing ok in that department. Not as well as I would like to be, but my bills are paid, and I have access to a little bit of cash in the case of an emergency. As my social life isn’t so great right now, it’s keeping this number at a 7 and not dropping it to a 6! I need to get better at saving.

Personal Growth 8/10 – I’ve grown a LOT this year! I’ve learned to be happy just being me. This is the first time I’ve felt truly happy and single at the same time! Woah! I need to start setting more goals for myself.

Health 8/10 – Apart from my bout of salmonella poisoning, my heath is pretty good. I know I need to be more active to get this to a 10. Maybe that’ll be one of my new year’s resolutions… 😉

Family 7/10 – I am spending more quality time with my babies these days, but I don’t see enough of my siblings or my parents, although I expect to see more of my family over the coming weeks with Christmas around the corner!

Relationships 2/10 – Yup, things in that department are not great, but this time it’s self imposed. I needed a good 6 months on my own, and I’m 2/3 of the way through that and feeling pretty good!

Social Life 3/10 – I need to see my friends more. It’s my fault I don’t see them as often as I’d like, and it’s up to me to fix that. Another new year’s resolution maybe?

Attitude 9/10 – I always see the positives in any situation, even if there is no positive to see. I’m solutions focused too, so I never get bogged down in the problem but try to find the solution instead. I think my attitude is pretty darn good!

Career 8/10 – I love what I’m doing right now, I love the challenges, and I love how my boss just tells me his vision, then lets me go and work out how it will be achieved, then usually agrees with what I’ve come up with. I need to get better at mentoring my staff, and maybe that will be another challenge I can set in the new year? :)

How are you doing in all of these areas of your life? Where can you improve? What are you doing well?

How to give yourself a positive boost if you’re feeling down

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We all have down days where we have a thought that’s bothering us, or somebody has done something hurtful, or you may be stressed about something at work.

Whatever it is, there are many ways to give yourself an emotional boost if you’re feeling down, such as:

  • Create a gratitude journal and write in it every day. Write down each day 5 things that you are grateful for.
  • Spend your day looking for the positives of every situation.
  • If you’re outdoors, focus on the beauty of nature. Focus on the intricate details of a leaf or a flower.
  • Laugh – there are lots of funny websites you can visit, go visit a friend who makes you laugh, or watch a funny movie.
  • Read something deep and enlightening – I find that reading about the Law of Attraction tends to calm me, as I realise that everything is as it should be and that everything will be ok.

There are so many other things you could do to give yourself a boost, and hopefully one of these will do the trick! :)

2015 and beyond – what are your goals?

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New year is approaching and that’s the time when we all reflect on the year that has past and make plans for the future, right?

So…. let’s start a few days early!

I know that it’s common for a new year’s resolution to be dropped over time, so let’s think about what you want to do LONG term. What do you want to achieve in 5-10 years? What can you do next year to move you closer to that goal?

That’s where my thoughts are right now.

I’ve always had this feeling that I was destined for more than the regular 9-5, and after being offered a redundancy at work in July this year, it really opened my eyes up to how unreliable a job really is. It made me realise that if I don’t do something about creating a secondary stream of income soon, what will happen if I am made redundant again in my current job?

I’ve had a lot to think about! And this is the basis of everything I have decided I need to do this coming year. My future is important to me, and I don’t want to hit 60 or 65 and have nothing. I want to have at the very LEAST, a small nest egg and recurring income to sustain me.

I’ve dabbled in many things over the years and while I love the products I’ve been selling, the whole time it takes to work in those businesses was just too much for me – plus they required that I go out every week and do stand up presentations. Whilst I don’t really suffer from stage fright anymore, the last thing I want to do after working a 12 hour day, is to go out again, stand in front of a dozen or so people, tell them how wonderful the product is (and it is), then deal with a bunch of skeptics.

Nah, I’m leaving that for those with thicker skin and more energy!

So… as I posted earlier in the month, I’ve found a skincare and makeup line that suits me perfectly, and selling it has actually been easier than I thought! Why? Because I use it, I tell my friends, I show them the results, and they are like “Wow!”, and they buy. Two have already joined me in this business, they’re so impressed!

Not only is this product easy to sell, but there was something else about the product line that I loved:

  • Their motto: Living the Younique lifestyle is a commitment to uplifting, empowering, and validating women everywhere. It’s devoting yourself to helping a global family of women realize their potential for personal growth and financial reward. This is in line with what I’ve been trying to do on this site – provide women with a way to empower themselves so that they can make better life choices. Awesome!
  • Their products are not tested on animals, are mostly natural, and they’re AMAZING! As a relative of mine said, “Omgsh Michelle those fiber lashes are amazeballs! So beautiful and long & lush! Pls send me info on how to become a rep!”. Yup it was THAT easy! All she had to do was try them and she fell in love.
  • I can do this thing 100% online. No need to go to somebody’s house and do a “party”, no having to get a bunch of people over so I can do a presentation, none of that. All I have to do is get myself on Facebook and post before and after shots of myself and my lovely customers, answer questions (on Facebook) and post the link to my free website, created by the company! I can do this thing in addition to my job without compromising a thing – and my relationship gets to stay intact too! 😉

So… here’s what I plan to do next month based on all of this, as I’ve decided to set myself up some monthly challenges, which will get me towards my main long-term goal:

  • Continue to promote this business and increase sales. This is a relatively new company, so word is only just starting to get out about it. NOW is the time to get started in this, when it’s just taking off. Who knows where it will end up?? :)
  • Have at least one more person join my team, so I achieve the “Fast Start” award. To achieve this I need to earn 2000 in “PRS points” (these are points allocated with every sale – I’ve already achieved this), and have three new presenters join my team. Last night Presenter #2 joined my team, so I have one to go! Woohoo! And I didn’t have to convince anybody – they asked ME about joining. This is important, because it highlights just how awesome the products are!
  • Focus on achieving Pink status. This company sets you up as a “White status” presenter. The next level is Yellow (I have achieved this and have received a pay rise as a result), followed by Pink. So pink is my next goal! Wooooo!

So that’s my January goals!

If you’re interested in generating an additional income from commission on sales or from building a business that becomes full time, check out http://youniqueproducts.com/Mishy/ for more information. Or contact me and I’ll be happy to answer your questions! :)

A little act of kindness can go a long way…

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A few weeks ago I was satisfying my Facebook addiction when I came across a link to a site that was all about celebrating kindness and wisdom.  Sounds nice, but what was it about?

What caught my eye was that they were talking about “paying it forward”.  You know, when you perform an act of kindness without any expectation of anything in return.

This site offers these little cards, which allow you to perform these little acts of kindness, in a very cool and fun way!  And this is how it works…

  1. Think of a kind act – Think up something nice to do for someone.  So you could pay for someone’s coffee, leave flowers on a colleague’s desk or send a card to a friend, telling them how wonderful they are.
  2. Act it out – Anonymously perform your little act of kindness.  Don’t let on it was you!
  3. Leave a Kindness Card – This card tells the person about your kind act and asks them to repeat the game with someone else.

Are you living in Australia and want to get your own FREE set of Kindness Cards?  Visit http://wakeupproject.com.au/ and they’ll post them to you!

If you’re not lucky enough to live in the world of Oz, why not make up a set of your own?  :)

Who is the prize? You or him??

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I am a member of many forums and groups where women come together to give advice and support each other in working their way through relationships, and in particular, difficult ones.

What I’ve observed over the last couple of years is that soooo many women cling to and pine over some men, who clearly don’t want anything to do with them, or at best, just want to be friends – no relationship is on the table, at all!

Why do they do this?

Why do they make a guy a priority when he’s only treating them only as an option???

My guess is that they don’t truly value themselves as the prize. If they did value themselves more, they would be thinking “His loss!” rather than “How can I get him back???”. Ick!

As you may have gathered from my posts, I’ve been single for about a year now, and I’ve never been happier. Yes, I would love to have a man in my life who I can spend time with and who is just there for me, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to settle for less than what I believe I’m worthy of!

I’m getting plenty of offers, even from across the globe, from men who would kill to even go on a date with me! But in the last year, only one has caught my attention. And funnily enough, he lives across the globe, dammit!

So… my predicament is this…

Yes I know he likes me – “A lot”, and yes we only recently met while he was here for two weeks, and yes we clicked straight away. And I felt something very strong for him.

But…

He’s not offered me anything. No “relationship”, no exclusivity, nothing. So to handle this, I’ve done exactly what I should be doing – I’m continuing to date others and still getting myself out there and enjoying my life. If he’s offered me nothing, then why would I hold out for him? To do so would be CRAZY!

If by some miracle he finds a way that we can be together and steps up and offers me what I want, then great – we’ll see what’s on the table and go from there. But bottom line is that I deserve the best and I will not settle for less than that.

Yes I really like this one, but I value myself much more than I value him, and I will live my life accordingly.

Who is the prize in your relationship?

Counting down to the end of 2013

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Hi everyone! I didn’t post a Merry Christmas post this year because;

a) I’m the worst blogger ever; and
b) I’ve used the last week or so to just have some “me” time and be with my kids.

I’m not religious, but I love Christmas, as it’s a time to take a break from work and spend quality time with family. I was lucky enough to get two weeks off work this year, and I’m making the most of the time, let me tell you!

As 2013 draws to a close, I’ve also been reflecting on what has been an incredible year. So much has happened, so many changes, and I’ve grown personally too. It’s definitely been a turning point in my life, and I have a very good feeling that 2014 is going to bring about some exciting times!

Today I’ve started looking into ways to get in shape. I’m going to be following the Fit Yummy Mummy “Little black dress” program. I’ve really been quite slack with my workouts and eating lately, and it’s time to get back on track!

Thankfully I’ve never really struggled with my weight, but looking AND feeling great is important to me. So a change to what I eat on a daily basis and an increase in physical activities it is!

So 2014 is going to kick off with a better looking/feeling me, I’m going to focus more on my business activities, therefore improving my financial situation, and as for my love life, well… it could be better, but I think I’m on the right track!

How is your 2014 looking? :)

Full Half Glass Twinterview

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I recently had the pleasure of being “Twinterviewed” by a parent of one of the boys my daughter plays soccer with.

This Twinterview involved me being asked several short questions relating to personal development, where I had to respond with short answers of 140 characters.

It was actually quite an enjoyable experience – and it didn’t hurt one little bit!

To check out the Twinterview, please visit http://www.fullhalfglass.com/twinterview-michelle-from-selfconfidence101-com/