If you know you look good, you will FEEL good!

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BlueWhile I’m not a big wearer of makeup, I do feel better about myself and more confident when I know I look good – and I don’t have to cake it on to do so!

A little bit of makeup that enhances your best features, is all you need to look and feel better as you go out and face the world.

This is all well and good, but I recently found out the hard way that there IS such a thing as good and bad cosmetics.

I purchased a set of eyeshadows, and I absolutely loved the colours – but I did NOT love the effect it had on my skin! For weeks upon weeks, I struggled to treat a bad case of eczema around my eyes. It made my eyes look wrinkly and scabby, and I felt really self conscious about it. It was really starting to bring me down, because it just wouldn’t go away.

I didn’t link this condition with my makeup, until I had some time off work and hadn’t worn it in a while – and it had miraculously cleared up!

But then I applied the makeup again one day, and the following day, I had another breakout.

So… I knew what was causing it, stopped using that makeup, and no more breakouts. Hmmm…..

Now I was looking for another brand of makeup that was preferably natural (the cheap, chemical-ridden variety was clearly not for me), and looked amazing. And of course I knew exactly where to get it, as I had already used this product before….

It was Younique.

I won’t talk too much about this today, however I will be putting together some video tutorials about how to apply this makeup (the Fiber Lashes are amazing!), as I used to avoid wearing makeup because I just didn’t know how to apply it. So stay tuned for that!

More on this product later – If you know you look good, you will FEEL good, and that’s what’s important. So I’m going to be talking a little bit about how to make this happen in the coming weeks. xxx

Are you their priority or just an option?

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I have the pleasure of being a part of a group of women who regularly share stories of our lives, offering help and support to each other as we tackle life’s ups and downs.

Yesterday, one of these women shared a post that I would like to discuss…

She started off with this…

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Mark Twain

She then went on to talk about how this is like an energy exchange between two people in a relationship.

What she said was that we pour our energy out towards someone that we make a priority in our lives, and that we also send love and emotional investment along with it.

When we are an option in somebody’s life, there is no love and investment coming back towards us, and our energy levels aren’t replenished – we’re sending it all out without getting it back in return.

Sometimes we receive a burst of this energy from our “Priority”, which in turn keeps us addicted and feeds our craving for this energy. This of course comes to us in short, unpredictable spurts, and brings about anxious and desperate feelings.

We become desperate for more, we walk on eggshells and we try too hard to please, we overfunction, and we are basically miserable.

Meanwhile, our energy levels get lower and lower, as we keep sending out this energy to our “Priority”, hoping they will eventually consider us their priority too.

Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that this does not happen. This is because once we “accept” this “Option” status with a man, that’s all we will ever be.

What’s so sad about this situation, is that we allow this to happen – we put ourselves there. We allow ourselves to be an option to someone we consider a priority. We therefore accept the crumbs on offer, and our self esteem suffers.

This is why it’s so important to seek a man who makes you his priority, then making him yours in return. That way your energy levels (and self esteem) remain balanced, and you find yourself in a relationship that is right and good for you. xxx

A little act of kindness can go a long way…

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A few weeks ago I was satisfying my Facebook addiction when I came across a link to a site that was all about celebrating kindness and wisdom.  Sounds nice, but what was it about?

What caught my eye was that they were talking about “paying it forward”.  You know, when you perform an act of kindness without any expectation of anything in return.

This site offers these little cards, which allow you to perform these little acts of kindness, in a very cool and fun way!  And this is how it works…

  1. Think of a kind act – Think up something nice to do for someone.  So you could pay for someone’s coffee, leave flowers on a colleague’s desk or send a card to a friend, telling them how wonderful they are.
  2. Act it out – Anonymously perform your little act of kindness.  Don’t let on it was you!
  3. Leave a Kindness Card – This card tells the person about your kind act and asks them to repeat the game with someone else.

Are you living in Australia and want to get your own FREE set of Kindness Cards?  Visit http://wakeupproject.com.au/ and they’ll post them to you!

If you’re not lucky enough to live in the world of Oz, why not make up a set of your own?  :)

Who is the prize? You or him??

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I am a member of many forums and groups where women come together to give advice and support each other in working their way through relationships, and in particular, difficult ones.

What I’ve observed over the last couple of years is that soooo many women cling to and pine over some men, who clearly don’t want anything to do with them, or at best, just want to be friends – no relationship is on the table, at all!

Why do they do this?

Why do they make a guy a priority when he’s only treating them only as an option???

My guess is that they don’t truly value themselves as the prize. If they did value themselves more, they would be thinking “His loss!” rather than “How can I get him back???”. Ick!

As you may have gathered from my posts, I’ve been single for about a year now, and I’ve never been happier. Yes, I would love to have a man in my life who I can spend time with and who is just there for me, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to settle for less than what I believe I’m worthy of!

I’m getting plenty of offers, even from across the globe, from men who would kill to even go on a date with me! But in the last year, only one has caught my attention. And funnily enough, he lives across the globe, dammit!

So… my predicament is this…

Yes I know he likes me – “A lot”, and yes we only recently met while he was here for two weeks, and yes we clicked straight away. And I felt something very strong for him.

But…

He’s not offered me anything. No “relationship”, no exclusivity, nothing. So to handle this, I’ve done exactly what I should be doing – I’m continuing to date others and still getting myself out there and enjoying my life. If he’s offered me nothing, then why would I hold out for him? To do so would be CRAZY!

If by some miracle he finds a way that we can be together and steps up and offers me what I want, then great – we’ll see what’s on the table and go from there. But bottom line is that I deserve the best and I will not settle for less than that.

Yes I really like this one, but I value myself much more than I value him, and I will live my life accordingly.

Who is the prize in your relationship?

Counting down to the end of 2013

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Hi everyone! I didn’t post a Merry Christmas post this year because;

a) I’m the worst blogger ever; and
b) I’ve used the last week or so to just have some “me” time and be with my kids.

I’m not religious, but I love Christmas, as it’s a time to take a break from work and spend quality time with family. I was lucky enough to get two weeks off work this year, and I’m making the most of the time, let me tell you!

As 2013 draws to a close, I’ve also been reflecting on what has been an incredible year. So much has happened, so many changes, and I’ve grown personally too. It’s definitely been a turning point in my life, and I have a very good feeling that 2014 is going to bring about some exciting times!

Today I’ve started looking into ways to get in shape. I’m going to be following the Fit Yummy Mummy “Little black dress” program. I’ve really been quite slack with my workouts and eating lately, and it’s time to get back on track!

Thankfully I’ve never really struggled with my weight, but looking AND feeling great is important to me. So a change to what I eat on a daily basis and an increase in physical activities it is!

So 2014 is going to kick off with a better looking/feeling me, I’m going to focus more on my business activities, therefore improving my financial situation, and as for my love life, well… it could be better, but I think I’m on the right track!

How is your 2014 looking? :)

Weight loss – My experiment to improve my chance of success!

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After a winter of laziness and probably a wee bit much to drink, my middle is telling me that if I don’t do something about it soon, then I’m going to have a tummy that sticks out further than my boobs.

The horror of this is what has sparked me to get off my butt today and complete a strength training workout, followed by 15 minutes of intervals (running/walking).

I probably chose the most humid day of the year so far to do this, but after a stretch and a nice long shower, I’m feeling pretty good about my efforts so far!

Here’s my problem though…

I just LOVE food. ANY food! And what this means is that I often find myself eating foods that are not supportive to a goal of fat loss.

What I’ve done in the past is to completely fix my diet, only eating healthy, supportive foods, and exercising three times per week. The exercise I’m usually ok with and when I make the effort, I find half an hour, three times a week do to my thing.

But all too soon my food habits die and I’m back to my old habits again.

So here’s what I’m going to do instead…

  1. I’m going to work out three times a week as planned; and
  2. I’m going to tweak my eating habits. So I’m not going to completely go healthy, but rather improve each week on what I’m doing. So in my case, this could mean ensuring I eat a healthy breakfast every day, and having at least one or two healthy meals during the day after that. The following week, I’ll add in another healthy meal, and so on.
  3. I’m not going to get hung up on whether I’m eating the right thing or not. I know what’s healthy, and I know what’s not. And I also know that the more regularly I work out, the less inclined I am to want to eat unhealthy food.

I hate feeling guilty, so this new way of doing things may be the start I need to gradually incorporate healthy eating habits into my life, without beating myself up. I’m wondering if that’s why I’ve given up in the past?! Maybe!

Ok, I’m off to the shop to buy some ingredients for some healthy protein balls! :)

What motivation do you need to work out?

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I know as well as you do, that if you want to lose weight, the best way to do it is to work out regularly and eat clean and healthy.

But if it’s that simple, why is more than half the population overweight?

Well… I’m the queen of procastination and laziness at the best of times, and it’s been almost a year since I last stepped foot in a gym. But all the while, I’ve KNOWN that exercising regularly is going to not only help me to burn fat, but I always feel more energised and healthy when I work out regularly! And what have I done about it??? NOTHING!

Until today that is!

I moved house recently, and since doing so, I’ve been more motivated to get out and explore a little. So thankfully for my dog Fluffy (I did NOT choose her name! lol), I have been taking her for more walks. So this morning we were walking along and I looked across at the personal training studio just down the road and noticed a few people in there working out.

It was then that I decided I might give them a try.

I called them up and they told me that I could have a free trial for a week, then after that I could pay the weekly fee. All good!

So I booked my session for tomorrow morning, and I just set my alarm (two different times) to ensure I’m up on time to attend! I feel now like I’m OBLIGED to go, even though this is a free session! Haha!

Ok, so it seems that accountability is big for me. And maybe if I had a trianing buddy I’d be more inclined to get off my butt!

So for now I’m attending group training sessions (starting tomorrow) and will see how things go!

What gets you motivated to work out?

Full Half Glass Twinterview

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I recently had the pleasure of being “Twinterviewed” by a parent of one of the boys my daughter plays soccer with.

This Twinterview involved me being asked several short questions relating to personal development, where I had to respond with short answers of 140 characters.

It was actually quite an enjoyable experience – and it didn’t hurt one little bit!

To check out the Twinterview, please visit http://www.fullhalfglass.com/twinterview-michelle-from-selfconfidence101-com/

Don’t criticise, condemn or complain

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I can’t believe it’s taken me sooooo long to get my hands on “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. I’ve only just started reading, but am loving it already!

I finished Chapter 1 last night, which was titled “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”, which was basically saying “Don’t criticise, condemn or complain”.

Hmmm….

One part of this chapter particularly moved me. It was a father writing to his son, who he was watching sleep peacefully. He was talking of the way he spoke to his son, about how impatient he had been with him, how short he was with him, and the remorse he felt over how he had been interacting with his son that day and in the past too.

What he realised, was that he was “condemning” his son for not being exactly like him.

I thought about how I interact with my children, and while I have a great relationship with both of my girls, I realised that I’m nowhere near as patient as I could be with them. Sadly, I’ve not realised until now, how much this can affect them.

So… starting NOW I choose to watch how I interact with my beautiful daughters. All too soon they’ll be growing up and living their own lives, and life’s too short not to make the most of every moment!

Changing our bad habits starts with becoming aware of aspects of ourselves that we could improve on. That’s what the very first chapter of this book did for me. WOW!

What is the WORST thing that could happen?

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When caught up in a situation where I want to do something but feel afraid, my first thought turns to this:

What is the WORST thing that could happen if I did this?

If the worst thing that could happen does not involve the sky falling in, the world ending, or some other great world tragedy, it kind of puts things in perspective for me.

Right now I’m in the midst of working on a launch of a business, which is going to involve me talking to people who I see as potential leaders and people who have vision. And the thought scares the living daylights out of me!!

But when I step back and think about the worst thing that could happen, I have come up with the following outcomes:

  • They could say no (and so what?)
  • They could look at me funny (OMG!)
  • They might say something negative about it (Uh, that’s an issue because…?)
  • They might think less of me (their loss?)
  • They might try to criticise what I’m doing (and if that’s the case, they clearly don’t have the same vision I have, so what’s the issue?)

So as you see, there’s really NOTHING for me to be afraid of!

What about you? Is fear holding you back from getting out there and doing what you want to do in life?

If so, try what I’ve done – work out what the worst possible outcomes could be, and work with them. Are the outcomes REALLY that bad? Try to put them in perspective.

If a friend was facing a similar situation, what advice would you give them (sometimes it’s easier to see another person’s situation with much more clarity)?

Ok, so now you’re thinking that what you want to do isn’t so scary, right?? 😉