How one little action can change your life

I’ve had the best weekend ever and I had to share it with you, because it explains how the power of one little confident action can completely change the direction of your life.

I will start in 2006 when I attended an internet marketing seminar.  While looking around the audience I noticed someone who looked familiar.

That person was Nik Halik.  I was planning to do one of his stock market courses and recognised him from his website.

I was at this seminar with my brother and told him who I had recognised.  My brother told me to go and introduce myself but I said "Nah, he will think I’m an idiot!".  So during the following break I walked up to Nik and said "Hi!  I’m Michelle and I’m going to be doing your course soon!".

To my surprise he was really lovely, and introduced my brother and I to his sister Victoria and their friends.  During the breaks we chatted and got to know each other a little better and discussed an upcoming event that Nik was presenting at.  I was thrilled that they were so friendly and down to earth - I was definitely going to do Nik’s course now!

Later that month Nik presented at another event which I attended with my parents.  It was at this event Victoria asked me if I would be interested in working with them at some upcoming events they were going to be holding in the next few months.  Of course I jumped at the chance - hanging out with the Haliks was fun!

I worked at two of their wealth creation events that year and had the best time ever!  All of the presenters were successful in their chosen field and presented on their strategy for success.  Hanging out with successful people really boosted my energy - and they were so inspirational too.

Working at these events (as a volunteer) became a regular event for me - I had a fantastic time, especially hanging out with the various presenters who I got to know quite well.  I was even offered the opportunity to be coached by one of the presenters in return for helping him out with his local clients!

That’s exciting, but even more exciting was the most recent event, Cashflow Brisbane.  I was offered the opportunity to work with one of the presenters on a paid basis, helping them with their websites, assisting at their various events and speaking at their workshops!   I am sooo excited! 

This is an amazing opportunity and I am really excited about the fact that I will be working with people who inspire me.  This can only help me to grow even more.

And it all started with an introduction that I was confident enough to go through with….!

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Identify your passion by writing yourself a letter

Through my life coaching studies I was introduced to the "Letter from the Future".  I had already come across this concept before, and this was just another way of presenting this to a potential coaching client to help them identify what they’re passionate about - what makes their heart sing.

This exercise really helps you to create a clear picture in your mind about how you want your life to be, and is therefore a very powerful step towards achieving the kind of life you want.  Without the clear picture of where you want to be, then how can you know you’re heading in the right direction? 

Having clear goals is a great way to help you build confidence and self esteem.  Working towards a goal gives you purpose, and as you get closer to your goal, you will find that your confidence and self esteem improves.

To write a letter from the future, here’s what you do:

1.  Choose a date several months or years into the future.  It should be a date that means something to you, such as an anniversary or birthday.

2.  Imagine your life has progressed very well - so well in fact that things are just as you wanted them to be.

3.  Write a letter to someone (it doesn’t matter who), telling them of the developments in your life, in great detail, from the moment you wake up each day in your ideal life, to when you go to bed.

4.  As you write, visualise how it would feel if this really was your life and you were happy, successful and fulfilled.  Do whatever you can to muster up those feelings. 

Keep your letter from the future in a safe place, and refer to it regularly - at least once a month.  Combine this with a well-defined goal achievement plan, and you will be well on your way to improving your confidence and achieving your goals!

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How do you improve self confidence

I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last week, doing research on the various areas around self confidence and self esteem and I also looked back on my personal experience.  I came to a conclusion…

I thought back to my life several years ago, when I was involved in what I believed to be the "worst marriage ever".  My self esteem was at an all-time low, suicidal thoughts were common and at times I really wondered how the world had turned out to be such a horrible place.

When I made the decision to finally leave, it’s not because my self esteem had suddenly improved - that happened later - it was because something inside of me finally realised that this wasn’t right and I needed to get out to protect my daughter.

Later, after I had left my marriage and realised that the sky didn’t fall in and that I was able to cope (I coped very well in fact!), was when I finally experienced a boost in my self esteem.  I had succeeded at something I had been too afriad to try, and that’s what gave my self esteem a huge boost!

So while you may not feel confident about doing something outside of your comfort zone, even taking baby steps towards doing it will gradually build your confidence.  You will reach a point where you will be able to undertake tasks even further outside of your comfort zone than you ever thought imaginable!

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Personal development tip of the day

I thought I’d start this weekend off with a tip on improving your confidence through personal development, based on a thought I had earlier in the week (more on that later!).

I look around at my friends, my coworkers and my family and I quickly realise that I have very little in common with many of them.  My parents and my husband are very much in tune with what I do and what I want to achieve in my life, but as for almost everyone else, well, let’s just say we’re on different planets!

When I told many of them that I was going to become a life coach, they asked, "What’s that?".  When I told them that I flew to the other side of the country to work at a wealth creation event hosted by friends of mine (at my own expense!), they thought I was crazy!

So to say I don’t hang out with a lot of people is probably quite true and I get sooo excited when my wealth creation friends come to town so I can hang out them for a couple of days!

Now, even though most people don’t understand why I do what I do and what I am working to achieve in my life (some probably mock me behind my back) , I still remain committed to my goals, and I am regularly looking for new ways to meet like-minded people.  I don’t let this stop me.

Next month I am taking the day off and I’m going to a women’s networking event.  The women who attend this event are entrepreneurs who have big goals, so I can’t wait to meet them!

So if you find that you don’t have a lot in common with the people around you, then get out there and find some people you have something in common with!

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How to stop procrastinating

Have you ever had a goal and kept putting off taking action, making every excuse under the sun?

I’m guilty of that, and have been many times. It’s not that I don’t want to achieve my goal - I want to achieve my goals a LOT!

But I think that somewhere deep down inside I have had a fear. My fear has been that I will fail somehow, or that I won’t do very well.

Either way, putting off my goals like I have been only does more to create frustration and dissatisfaction in my life and that’s not how I want to live.

So how do I stop myself procrastinating? I tell myself I can do it and that I will do it and I just do it!

I consider the worst case scenario if I were to fail. If failing won’t cause the sky to literally fall in, then I really have no excuse for not going ahead, do I?

Everyone can make the time for something they really want - if they want it enough.

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Self confidence or Self esteem?

What is the difference between self confidence and self esteem? I thought I’d talk about the difference here, and also about how they relate so closely to each other, hence the fact that both are mentioned throughout this website.

Definition of self confidence
Feeling of trust in ones abilities, qualities and judgment

Definition of self esteem
Self-esteem is a reflection of a person’s overall self-appraisal of their own worth

So they both reflect a how you might feel about yourself, whether it’s how you feel about your abilities or how you feel about your self worth.

You can change you feel about yourself. It’s not an overnight process, but it can be done. The result of changing these feelings will completely transform your life - I know from personal experience!

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Job interviews again

My “real” job is a temporary job at the moment. I used to work for a company and resigned due to various reasons last year and in February they offered me a temporary position (more money than my previous position!) so of course I accepted!

My contract expires in July, so I am always keeping an eye out for a permanent position - more for the security of having regular income than anything else. I hope to eventually give up working for someone else so I can continue working on my own business.

Anyway, today some positions were advertised where I work, one at the same level I am at now, and another is one level senior to what I am doing now, so I have decided to apply for both.

My thinking is this - what’s the worst thing that can happen if I apply for these positions?

They could laugh at me and tell me I am dreaming, I could totally stuff up the interview, or not even get to the interview stage at all! There are probably plenty more horrible things that might happen, but these examples will do for now.

It’s on that basis that I’ve decided that I have absolutely nothing to lose (except my dignity, which I actually gave up when I gave birth to my first child), so I’m going for it! I’ll keep you updated on my progress!

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Is your weight weighing you down?

Many of my coaching clients suffer not only from low confidence or self esteem, but they also have weight problems. This might be a case of what came first, the chicken or the egg.

Are they lacking in confidence because they are overweight, or are they overweight because they lack confidence?

An alarmingly large percentage of people suffer from weight problems and it is certainly more than just about the food.

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Why won’t she leave him??

Have you ever wondered why women suffering from verbal or physical abuse stay with their abusive partners?

I can’t speak for all women who put up with such treatment, but I can speak for myself.

If you’ve not read my previous posts, then you may not realise that I was verbally and emotionally abused for around 9 years by my former husband.

It wasn’t constant, but it was enough to push my self esteem so low that at times I wondered if I would be better off dead.

So why did I stay?

There were a number of reasons (and yes, if you’ve never been in a similar situation you may wonder about my intelligence here!) which I will cover now:

1. I felt I had nowhere to go (despite the fact that my parents lived nearby and would have been there for me no matter what).

2. I didn’t want to admit I had "failed" to myself or others.

3. Financial reasons - if I left, then there would be a huge financial mess to clean up.

4. I was afraid of the unknown - my self esteem was so low that I really wasn’t sure I would be up to surviving on my own (what the..?).

5. I didn’t think I would cope as a single mother.

There were plenty of other "excuses", but as you can see, the reasons above were either not justified or they were just plain lame.

Looking back I know these excuses were lame but at the time, they were very valid and a strong reason to stay.

Another thing our marriage counselor said to me was that because the abuse I suffered wasn’t physical, I felt I didn’t have a tangible reason to leave. I suppose if he had hit me (several times I tried to get him to!), I would’ve been out that door in an instant! (I hope!)

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Can’t get a decent date? You’re probably the reason why!

Ok, that sounds harsh, but think about it. How much fun are you to be around?

If you have low confidence or self esteem, then chances are the people you meet will pick up on it.

I once suffered from low confidence and self esteem, and I am amazed at how this affected the types of guys I attracted into my life. There were some shockers!

Since improving my self esteem, the quality of my dates improved significantly. A while back, I asked a male friend of mine about this and he told me that guys with low self confidence or esteem were too afraid to talk to me because I seemed so confident and they felt intimidated.

So my moral of the story here is this: You attract what you are!

I don’t mean that literally, but more like you attract people who are what you seem to them. Gawd, that sounded confusing…!

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