Archives for July 2017

Why am I still single??

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selfconfidence101Since 2010 I’ve spent a lot of time being single, and it’s been an interesting journey. While I believed I was a good catch, why was I single for so long? (I did finally meet my wonderful man in 2016, which is good news!)

Anyway, prior to meeting him, I had friends (both male and female) telling me how wonderful I was, how easygoing and laid back I was, and how gorgeous I was.

My reply? “Well if I’m so darn wonderful, why the hell am I still single????”

Yeah, you start to get a complex when you have a string of them either “leaving the country” or going back to an ex, and you begin to wonder what is wrong with you!

But here’s what learned… “You can be the ripest, juciest, yummiest peach in the world, but there’s still going to be someone who hates peaches…”

This doesn’t mean that these guys “hated” me, but what it did mean was that we just weren’t a match!

You meet, he thinks you’re an apple, and over time he realises you’re a peach, and he doesn’t like peaches. It doesn’t mean you’re bad for being a peach or that you should change who you are, but what it does mean is that he’s looking for an apple.

We all know that peaches can’t turn into apples. It’s impossible! So you can’t possibly become what he wants. You’re just not a match! It’s really that simple!

Sometimes it takes him a while to realise you’re a peach, so this kind of drags the pain out, but the fact remains – he wants apples, and you’re a peach.

There is a good news story at the end of this, and that is that for every peach hater out there, there are just as many (if not more) peach lovers out there, and your job is to just get yourself out there living your life, until you finally meet Mr Peach Lover!

When you meet Mr Peach Lover, it will become pretty obvious, that he most definitely loves peaches and he’s never going to want to let you go! Yummy! <3

Empowerment of women… Is this a good thing?

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You may be reading the title of this post, and if you’re a woman, you’re likely thinking “Well of course it is!”

On the other hand, you could be a man who’s reading this, and you’ve just managed to free yourself from a relationship with a woman who emotionally beat you into a pulp over many years, and you’re thinking “No way!!!”

The thing is, the whole empowerment of women thing, is actually a very good thing. Why? Let me tell you….!

For me, being empowered is about taking ownership of where I am and where I’m headed. It’s about taking responsibility for my own actions and for the decisions I make in my life.

It’s not about playing the victim or passing blame to another person for where I am in my life.

I have an ex husband who treated me pretty badly, and for nine years I put up with it. Who’s fault was it that I was verbally abused for nine years?

It was MY fault!

Why?

The first time was his fault, but when I stuck around, I was sending him a very clear message to keep doing it, because there were no consequences for him if he did. So he kept doing it. Why would he stop? He didn’t need to as he was getting something out of it (more on that stuff in a later post).

Until one day, I woke up and realised I was sending a pretty awful message to my daughter (the message was that it was ok for a woman to be treated that way, because I’d been putting up with this treatment for so long), so I finally woke up to myself and I took my power back, and I left.

THAT was what being empowered was all about. It was about taking responsibility for where I was, and it was about doing something about it!

I didn’t beat him down, I didn’t tell my daughter how horrible he was, I didn’t cause scenes whenever I saw him. I just accepted that he was who he was, and that he wasn’t for me. I also accepted the fact that it was totally on me that I stayed with him for that long.

So how have I benefited from being empowered?

Well… I’m a million times happier since leaving him. My daughter was removed from a toxic environment. I found somebody a gazillion times better. I have the life I always wanted. I have the relationship I’ve always dreamed of. I live in a happy home. I have a happy life. :)

So becoming this empowered woman was what turned my life around, and it wasn’t at the expense of my former husband or of anybody around me. That’s what being empowered is all about! :)