Archives for September 2015

Pining over some guy? Here’s things from another perspective…

Butterfly 70x70

This is an edited version of something I posted elsewhere recently. Too many women out there are pining for some guy who clearly doesn’t want what they want, but they hang out for him anyway, and it really makes me cringe….this is why – this is my perspective with the tables turned…

I ended things with a guy several weeks ago, and not because he’s a bad guy or anything like that (he’s a lovely man with a very good heart), but because firstly a relationship right now is not a prority for me. I also felt as though something was “off” or not quite right for me. We don’t want the same things. Our goals are different. We are not a match (in my opinion).

I was starting to feel smothered and a little pressured when we were together, and not because of anything he did wrong as such, but because I knew how much he was in to me, and I felt kind of bad for not feeling exactly the same way.

So the problem for me is that he’s clearly holding out for me, he keeps telling me he loves me, and that he will wait for me, for as long as it takes.

I keep thinking to myself, “WHY can’t he just move on? Surely there are plenty of others out there for him? I’m not THAT great, am I???” (Ok, I’m pretty great, but still… lol) 😛

The problem with this is that it’s making me feel less for him than I did before. It’s like he’s not valuing himself enough in my eyes. He can do so much better than me, in the sense that there are other women out there who want exactly what he wants! Instead I feel pressure and guilt that I have this poor guy waiting around for me to magically change my mind…

He’s got me wayyy up there on that pedestal (and I mean WAYYYYYYY up there!), and that in itself feels like pressure to me.

I think he is a lovely guy, and I know that some day he’s going to make some girl extremely happy because he’s that awesome. But he’s just not for me. It doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with him – he’s just not somebody I can see myself with long term.

Am I a cow for rejecting him? I don’t think so – I know what I want, and I want to put myself first. I have other priorities and a relationship isn’t one of them. I want to be on my own for a bit before I think about going into a relationship again.

So yes, we’re all going to be rejected at some point, and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you or him, and he’s not necessarily an asshole – it’s just that you’re not a good match, and that’s likely because you don’t want the same things.

So if a guy says to you through his words OR his actions, that he cannot offer you the relationship that you want, then girls, PLEASE do yourself a favour and move on!

Some day things may change for him, but if you’re looking at the reality that is right now, and he’s not stepping up, it’s because he DOESN’T WANT TO! It’s really that simple!

Get out there and start dating and fight that addiction you have for that dude who clearly isn’t on the same page you are – you owe it to yourself to keep your dignity and to get on with your life, knowing that you deserve the world, and some day, some awesome guy is going to offer you that on a silver platter.

He will be so obvious in his pursuit of you that you will wonder what the hell you were doing hanging out for the other dude!

The guy I was seeing, I would love nothing more than to see him completely happy with somebody that he is perfectly matched with. He thinks that’s me, but I know it’s not.

Love to all xxxxxxxxx