Archives for November 2014

Are you their priority or just an option?

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I have the pleasure of being a part of a group of women who regularly share stories of our lives, offering help and support to each other as we tackle life’s ups and downs.

Yesterday, one of these women shared a post that I would like to discuss…

She started off with this…

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Mark Twain

She then went on to talk about how this is like an energy exchange between two people in a relationship.

What she said was that we pour our energy out towards someone that we make a priority in our lives, and that we also send love and emotional investment along with it.

When we are an option in somebody’s life, there is no love and investment coming back towards us, and our energy levels aren’t replenished – we’re sending it all out without getting it back in return.

Sometimes we receive a burst of this energy from our “Priority”, which in turn keeps us addicted and feeds our craving for this energy. This of course comes to us in short, unpredictable spurts, and brings about anxious and desperate feelings.

We become desperate for more, we walk on eggshells and we try too hard to please, we overfunction, and we are basically miserable.

Meanwhile, our energy levels get lower and lower, as we keep sending out this energy to our “Priority”, hoping they will eventually consider us their priority too.

Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that this does not happen. This is because once we “accept” this “Option” status with a man, that’s all we will ever be.

What’s so sad about this situation, is that we allow this to happen – we put ourselves there. We allow ourselves to be an option to someone we consider a priority. We therefore accept the crumbs on offer, and our self esteem suffers.

This is why it’s so important to seek a man who makes you his priority, then making him yours in return. That way your energy levels (and self esteem) remain balanced, and you find yourself in a relationship that is right and good for you. xxx