Archives for June 2014

Why did my man cheat? Some of the reasons behind infidelity…

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The first thing I want to say about this is that no man will cheat for no reason. A man who is 100% happy in his relationship and is having all of his needs met, will have no reason to cheat.

But all too many men do cheat, so it brings up the question as to why…

Firstly, let’s focus on us!

To feel happy and secure in a relationship, there are three things that must be in place.

These are:

  1. We must feel cherished.
  2. We must feel like we are cared for.
  3. We must feel secure with our man.

If any or all of these are missing, it’s likely we will withdraw or hold back from a man. Many women will hold back on sex, because they don’t feel emotionally safe with him. Some women cheat for this reason.

On the other hand, a man needs to feel:

  1. Like he is admired by us (possibly an ego thing?).
  2. Acknowledged.
  3. Appreciated for all of the things he does for us.

Again, if any or all of these things are missing, he may also withdraw or hold back. And again this is often why they tend to look outside of the marriage – to get the validation they’re not getting inside.

Infidelity is never black or white – there’s always two sides to the story, plus there’s the truth, which sits in that grey area.

If you suspect your man is cheating, have a good, long, hard and honest look at yourself first. How are you pushing your man away? Is there something YOU can do to improve the quality of your relationship?

Infidelity doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a relationship (although more often than not it does), and if you love your guy, then maybe there’s hope – if he also loves you.

But before things can get better, you both must look at your own part in this and make positive changes. Otherwise you can both keep doing what you’ve always done, and get the same results! xxx

Think your job is safe? Think again!

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Today I received some news that shocked me, although at the same time it wasn’t completely unexpected.

My job was made redundant. For many people, news such as this would be devastating, because what it means is that your main source of income has suddenly disappeared!

But for me, I feel mixed. I feel kind of unsettled, because things are uncertain, but I also feel excited, because this could also mean that I am freed up to work on my business full time, as I will have a rather large payout to live on for a bit!

When you only have one source of income, you really are at the mercy of your employer. But when you work for yourself, you’re only at the mercy of yourself – because your actions will bring in or turn away customers!

So do you have a Plan B, for just in case your job is no longer yours? If not, why not? What are you waiting for? Until it’s too late?

For most people, the news of a redundancy is completely unexpected, and all of a sudden they’re left with no options whatsoever. Please don’t let that happen to you.

Want to know what I’m doing? Check out my Travel Club and watch video #2. This will not only give me access to discounted holidays, but it will also make me money and provide me with free flights and holidays!! Woohoo!

The guy I’ve been dating has disappeared – I don’t want to lose him!

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I see different variations of this scenario all the time – but the basics are the same…

“Hi Michelle

I’ve been dating a guy for two months now and he’s stopped contacting me. It’s like he’s disappeared!

I have tried calling and texting him, but he hasn’t replied, and I feel devastated at the thought of losing him!

How do I deal with this?

Mindy”

Ok… for starters, it’s only been two months. It’s not like you’ve been in a full-blown relationship for two years, so it’s time to put things into perspective.

Also, if this guy isn’t just hiding in his man cave for a bit and has actually decided he doesn’t want to see you anymore, but was too gutless to tell you, then here’s some pointers on how you should look at this:

  • Do you really want to be with a guy who thinks it’s ok to just disappear without a word?
  • Do you really want to be with a guy who doesn’t want to be with you?
  • Are you worth so little that the only guy you could possibly want, doesn’t feel the same way about you?
  • If this guy doesn’t want to be with you, then what exactly have you “lost”? Isn’t he doing you a favour by leaving?
  • It’s time to look within – why are you so attached to a guy after only two months? Is it possible he sensed this in your vibe and it turned him off?

So many of us tend to get attached very early on in a dating scenario, and this is usually our undoing.

I look at dating like this… At worst, this guy is going to become a friend. If it’s more then that’s a bonus. This means that I have no expectations on the guy and we can both get to know each other in an easy and relaxed way. :)