Archives for April 2014

How do I get my ex back?

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Ugh! I hear women asking this question all too often, and to be honest, it’s a cringe-worthy thought. Why on earth would ANYONE want an ex back??

Aren’t they an ex for a reason???

Also, why would someone even want someone who doesn’t even want them??? Do they really think that little of themselves??? The mind boggles!

Ok, ok… so let’s say for a minute that getting your ex back had the potential for positive results (I’m not sure how, but bear with me)… What would be the best way to get him back?

Well… it all depends of course, why you guys broke up in the first place, but bottom line is this… You MUST be perceived as a woman of value… And I’m not talking just about his perspective – YOU must see yourself as valuable too!

So how do I get my ex back exactly?

There are several things you should consider and try, such as:

  • Start dating others – it seems counter intuitive to do such a thing, but you really need to shift your focus off him and therefore shift your vibe.
  • Understand that pining over that guy will only make you look low value to that guy. Why would he want to go back to someone who has lowered her value? Ick!
  • Be aware that he’s unlikely to EVER come back until you’re at a point where you really don’t care if he ever comes back or not! I know I know, that’s weird, but it’s true! It’s called “Detaching from the outcome”!
  • Pining over a man creates a negative energy around you, which turns a guy off. Work on shifting that. Or do you want to keep turning him off?
  • How do I shift negative energy? Date others!!! Pamper yourself. Go out with your girlfriends. Focus on your passion!
  • Do NOT chase him! Don’t make up excuses to text him or see him. Just leave him be!

Finally, one thing you really really should get in your head is that if he’s going to come back at all, he’s NOT going to come back and offer you the relationship you want until you work on yourself.

You need to get yourself to a point where you’re ok whether he comes back or not.

So how badly do you want him back? Enough to try some or all of the items listed above?

If you do this, what you may find out along the way, is that he was never up to your standard anyway… 😉

I am hung up on my ex. How do I move on?

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Aahhh yes… the dreaded “I can’t move on from my ex” story… I’ve seen a bit of this today, and to be honest, it makes me cringe!

For me, it’s a bit black and white. Once a guy becomes an ex (either he dumps me or I dump him), he’s immediately lost any chance of any type of future with me, that goes beyond platonic friendship.

But there are many women out there who keep looking back, keep pining over what could have been, who are a consumed by their feelings for this ex, and are struggling to move on.

These are the women who are often in the “dumped” category, although some are the “dumpers” but only did so because they were sick of his crap.

Ok, so how can you move on from an ex?

There are so many ways to move on, and I’m sure this little list is only a tiny fraction, but hopefully they’ll spark some ideas for you!

Ok, so here goes…

  • Tell yourself over and over again, that you met this guy for a reason, and that there was a lesson to learn, so now it’s time for him (and you) to move on.
  • Believe that there is better out there.
  • Date others – LOTS of others!
  • Reconnect with the girlfriends you’ve neglected lately.
  • Pamper yourself – show yourself some lurve!
  • Read some self help books – work on making yourself a better person.
  • Focus on the positives in life.
  • Write in a gratitude journal – realise that you have a whole lot more than many others on the planet do.
  • Consider whether it was his potential or the reality that you were actually in love with, and learn from that very important fact…

What other ways do you think you can shift that focus off the past and on to your future?