Archives for November 2013

Being ok with being single – 5 ideas to get you there

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I’ve been single for some time now, and since my marriage ended in April 2010, I’ve had one “longish” relationship that lasted two and a half years. That ended a year ago and since then I’ve been working very hard on myself to become the best person I can be.

I’ve enjoyed my year of being single, and have met so many wonderful people! My life is full, I have plenty of fun, and while it would be great to have someone to go home to every night, that desire is not consuming me.

I can honestly say that I am truly happy, and that if I were to meet “the one”, that would only enhance what’s already great in my life – it wouldn’t be the only way it could be great!

Make sense?

On the other hand, I know of women who tell me that once they meet someone, that’s when they’ll be happy. But what if they don’t meet him for another 5 years?? Are they going to stay miserable until then?? Wow. What a way to live!

Life is short, and if you can’t make the most of a less than ideal situation, then you’re losing out!

This last year I’ve travelled to new destinations (alone), started working on a new business that I feel passionate about, I’ve been on loads of dates, have met many lovely guys who treat me like a queen, I’ve been wined and dined, have had constant compliments lavished on me, and finally I recently met a beautiful man through a mutual friend.

Now, this guy and I clicked straight away, but there are some logistical issues regarding geography to overcome, and I don’t even know if it’s going to go anywhere long term. And that’s ok!

The thing is, if it does work out for us, I’ll be over the moon – he’s a great guy. But if it doesn’t work out, I still have a fantastic life that is the envy of many. Either way, I cannot lose!

Because I think like this, it actually puts me in a position of power. My happiness does not depend on whether I have a man in my life or not. If I meet someone I like and he doesn’t feel the same way about me, then it’s his loss – he doesn’t get to spend his life with a happy, positive woman who loves her life. But if I meet a man who feels the same way about me and things work out, then my life is only enhanced from what was already a good place. Plus he gets to spend his time with ME! Win-win! 😉

Ok, so learning to be ok with being single can be hard, especially when you’ve been caught up in the rut of having your happiness depend on a man. So how do you change this?

These ideas may help:

  1. Discover your passion and purpose, and start doing activities that support this.
  2. Use a gratitude journal to write down all of the things you are grateful for each day – keep your focus on the good in your life.
  3. Take up a hobby or sport where you can mingle with others who have similar interests. Get busy!
  4. Hang out with your girlfriends – do girlie stuff together, that you can’t do with a guy.
  5. Pamper yourself sometimes – show yourself love.

Remember it takes time to get into such a positive space, but if you really do want to learn to be ok with how your life is right now, it will only help to attract more of what you want in your life.

I can see some enhancements coming to my life very, very soon… :)