Archives for September 2013

Why will my circle of friends influence my success?

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I was at a seminar in 2005 when the audience was asked to write down the names of the five people closest to us.

We were then asked to write down what we believed their approximate income was.

After that we were asked to add the income figures together, then divide by 5.

I was very surprised to see that the average incomes of those closest to me was almost exactly what my income was at the time! Woah!

The point of this exercise was to point out that we are the product of our environment – we are whom we associate with. So if your 5 closest friends are all unemployed and not going very well in life at all, then chances are, you’re not much (if at all) better off.

I look back on that day and who my closest friends were at the time, then look at my situation now, and realise that I’ve taken several huge steps up. So has my income!

It was by chance that I was able to introduce myself to a very successful entrepreneur who later become a good friend, at an event in 2006 that began a trail of events and interactions that were to shape who I am now, and the goals I have set for myself.

Only a couple of months ago, I was sitting in a maxi taxi in Singapore with several very successful businessmen (including my friend from 2006!), heading out for a night on the town! This is a FAR cry from where I was in 2005 – there’s NO WAY I could have predicted that I’d be rubbing shoulders with people of such a high calibre, let alone socialising with them!

So while I’m not receiving specific “perks” by hanging out with this new crowd, I AM feeling inspired by them. These people have achieved success and I’m learning by associating with them, how the way these people think is somewhat different to the average 9-5 worker.

I am also learning that while my job is secure for now, there are no guarantees. Plus I’m learning that I can succeed at whatever I put my mind to, because my friend didn’t have a special kind of background. He wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth. In fact, he was probably worse off than I was as a child. And here he is now, a multimillionaire.

Ok, so what if you don’t know anybody who has achieved great success? What can you do to get around them and learn from them?

There are a number of ways:

  1. Many successful people have written books about their success. Buy them. Devour them. Learn from them.
  2. Work on yourself. Personal development is important if you want to succeed.
  3. Attend events where these people are presenting. One example of such an event is this freebie: This is being held in Australia and Singapore, and here you will get to meet the presenters who will talk about their success and be there to answer your questions. I LOVE These events and this is how I came to find myself with a very cool circle of friends!
  4. Look outside the box. If you think that working for somebody else for the rest of your life is going to help you to achieve great success, you obviously haven’t had a good look at your current circle of friends.
  5. If you’re smarter than, or are more successful than all of your friends, get some more, smarter and more successful friends!

So… what are you doing to expand your circle of influence? 😉

When should I ask where this relationship is going? The answer may surprise you…!

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“Julie” has started dating a guy. He’s attentive, he calls and texts her regularly, and they always have a great time. They’ve been seeing each other for three weeks now and so far everything’s great!

But she’s wondering what his intentions are. Where is this “relationship” going? She hopes he’s not using her for sex!? :-O

Julie is consumed by this and wants to ask him, but she doesn’t know how to approach the subject without scaring him off.

What should she do?

My answer:

Julie should do NOTHING!

Firstly, they’ve only been dating a few weeks, so how on earth can he (or she for that matter) possibly know where this is headed??

Also, does she feel amazing in his presence? Does he treat her right? Does he initiate contact and say really lovely things to her?

I have a shocking fact to tell you too: Pretty much ALL men want sex! I know, I know, it’s a surprise, right???

But here’s the thing…

Yes, they all want sex, but some eventually want more than that. It’s just that many (most?) won’t know that with you straight away. It might take them a few months before they realise that you’re “the one” (or not) for them.

So this could go one of two ways…

  1. After a while they’ll realise that you’re not “the one” and the relationship will end. Julie in this example, will think he was using her for sex. And maybe he was. Or maybe he wasn’t. The only person who knows for sure is him – and he may not even know! Confusing huh?
  2. Because every time you spend together is a positive and fun experience for the both of you, he will want more of the same experiences and he will want to see more and more of you. He will eventually realise that he cannot bear anybody else snapping you up, so will do what he needs to do to stop that happening!

Alright so what can Julie do in the meantime?

  1. Julie should remain focused on NOW! How does she feel with him? Is it good? Does he cherish her and show her that he cares about her? If so, why change it?
  2. If she’s not already, she really needs to be dating other men. If she’s sleeping with this guy, she could remain sexually exclusive with him if that feels better, but her focus should not be targeted solely at this guy, who right now is an “unknown entity” until he reveals his feelings.
  3. Julie really needs to stay focused on her. What feels good to her? What can she do when she’s not with this guy? She really needs to fill her life so thoughs of him are only fleeting.
  4. When Julie sees him or hears from him, she needs to be warm and open toward him. Make every interaction as positive as possible, and he will want more of the same. Although be careful not to become a doormat. If he’s doing something that you really feel uncomfortable with, tell him “I feel uncomfortable about xxx…”
  5. Julie should find her purpose in life and focus on that purpose. Why is she on this planet?

The thing is, I’ve watched enough of those reality shows where there’s a bunch of women fighting for the same guy (personally, I could not think of anything worse than lowering myself to that level), and each and every time I cringe when one of the girls confronts the guy about his intentions and “where this is going”.

You can see the guy physically pull back from her like she’s just revealed she has some exotic disease and passed it onto him for his enjoyment! It’s actually quite sad.

Guys don’t like being put on the spot like that. Ever.

If he wants you to himself badly enough, he knows what to do…! 😉

What motivation do you need to work out?

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I know as well as you do, that if you want to lose weight, the best way to do it is to work out regularly and eat clean and healthy.

But if it’s that simple, why is more than half the population overweight?

Well… I’m the queen of procastination and laziness at the best of times, and it’s been almost a year since I last stepped foot in a gym. But all the while, I’ve KNOWN that exercising regularly is going to not only help me to burn fat, but I always feel more energised and healthy when I work out regularly! And what have I done about it??? NOTHING!

Until today that is!

I moved house recently, and since doing so, I’ve been more motivated to get out and explore a little. So thankfully for my dog Fluffy (I did NOT choose her name! lol), I have been taking her for more walks. So this morning we were walking along and I looked across at the personal training studio just down the road and noticed a few people in there working out.

It was then that I decided I might give them a try.

I called them up and they told me that I could have a free trial for a week, then after that I could pay the weekly fee. All good!

So I booked my session for tomorrow morning, and I just set my alarm (two different times) to ensure I’m up on time to attend! I feel now like I’m OBLIGED to go, even though this is a free session! Haha!

Ok, so it seems that accountability is big for me. And maybe if I had a trianing buddy I’d be more inclined to get off my butt!

So for now I’m attending group training sessions (starting tomorrow) and will see how things go!

What gets you motivated to work out?