Archives for June 2011

What is on your bucket list?

goal!

What is on your bucket list?  Hang on…what IS a bucket list??  The best description I can give of what a bucket list is, is to say it’s a list of goals – a list of things you want to do in your life.

So let’s take a look at what your bucket list could look like…

First, I suggest you grab yourself a notebook, or even create a spreadsheet where you will write down a list of all of the items you want to see on your bucket list.

And now it’s time to start writing!

Your bucket list can consist of anything, from learning how to ride a horse, to flying to the moon.  It can include things you’ve always wanted to do, such as visiting the pyramids of Egypt to running your first marathon.  And there is no limit to the number of things you can have on your list!

If your confidence is low, then it’s possible that even thinking about running your first marathon is going to cause you to break out in a cold sweat.  So start small.

Your list may start with smaller items such as having your first facial, manicure or pedicure, or making a commitment to buy one personal development book per month, or even losing 10 pounds.

To boost your chances of success, write in a “due by” date for each item too.  When will you achieve this by?  When will you start?

And then as you begin to complete each item, cross it off your list, and note the date you achieved this.

There is no better feeling than to know you have achieved something, and as your confidence grows, then your bucket list can consist of bigger, more exciting things!

Here’s some items from my list:

  • Visit the pyramids in Egypt
  • Visit a castle
  • Swim with dolphins
  • Ride a Harley
  • Go on an African safari
  • Compete in a triathlon (Done!  I actually crossed this one off my list over a year ago!  Woohoo!)

Ok, so what are you waiting for! Start that list!!  😀

Should we stay together for the sake of our children?

sad child

“Should we stay together for the sake of our children?”   My answer to that is “It depends”.

You would not be asking this question if your relationship wasn’t in trouble, so whether you see it or not, your children are being affected by this.  This should be your main concern.

So should you stay and try to work things out?  Or should you leave and start a new life?

You also have a third option… you can choose to do nothing.

It’s the third option that I believe will cause the most harm to your children.  What you are doing by choosing to do nothing, is teaching your children that it’s ok to be miserable.  It’s ok to live in a loveless and/or abusive marriage.  Life really does suck and it’s ok if you just put up with it and do nothing about it… yuk….

Do you really want your children believing that??  I didn’t think so…

So your only two options are to:

  1. Stay and try to work things out – and this means actually doing something!  It could be that you both go to counseling, or you could seek coaching, or you may even try some new techniques you learned in a book or online.  Be honest with yourself though and note any progress (if any) made.  Don’t kid yourself into believing that it’s working when it’s clearly not.  Try something else if what you’re doing isn’t working.  Are you starting to feel happier?  If not, then you may need to try something else.  Your kids will feel it when you’re not happy.  Remember that…
  2. Leave and start a new life – this is hard.  I’ve done it twice, so can pretty much call myself an expert on the subject.  The decision to leave must be made when you really do think the relationship has no hope.  In my case, both times I knew I no longer loved my husband, and the second one I couldn’t trust either.  Too much damage was done before I made my decision.  Although I know that if I’d taken action sooner, then Option 1 would have been my preference.  But by the time my decision was made, it was too late to save the relationship and I figured that my children were better off with two happy, separate parents than they were with two miserable, together parents.  Never leave unless you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want to do.  To keep changing your mind and to keep going back will only upset your children more.

No matter what you decide, you must go by how you truly and honestly feel inside.  Are you happy or not?  Are things improving or not?

No choice is going to be an easy one to follow through with, but choice #3 should not even be an option if you truly want your children to be happy.

No matter what your choice however, please, please, please put your safety and that of your children first!

You are all precious and deserve to be happy.  xx

How to understand men

confusing men

Want to know how to understand men?  Well when you work it out, please let me know!  😀

Let’s face it… men think differently to women and they always will, so trying to work them out is like the impossible dream.

How many times has he said or done something and you’ve been left trying to work out what he meant by his words or actions?

So he didn’t call you when he said he would, for example…  If you’re like most women, you’re probably trying to come up with the various reasons why he didn’t call.  Maybe he was in a car accident, or he lost his phone, or he had to wash his hair….???

I hate to tell you this girls, but trying to work out what your guy’s thinking and why, will only drive you CRAZY!!!

So how do you stop the craziness?  How do you stop worrying about whether you’ve done something wrong?  How do you get on with your life without obsessing over him?

Before I go any further, I just need to quickly mention that obsessing over him = doom!  Stop doing it!  It will come through in your vibe and you’ll only push him away!

Ok, so how do we stop this?

The first thing you need to do is get busy doing your own thing.  No more waiting by the phone.  No more thinking about him 24 hours a day.  No more revolving your life around him.

It’s time to get your life on track doing what YOU want to do.   If he wants to call you, then he will.  If he doesn’t, then he won’t.  Ok he may have a good excuse, but don’t think you’d feel a whole lot better if you didn’t spend your entire afternoon waiting by the phone to ring, and you did something fun instead?

Organise outings with girlfriends, book yourself in for a massage or manicure, indulge in one of your favourite hobbies, exercise – either alone or in a class….

The aim here is to NOT think about him and to focus ENTIRELY on you and your interests!

And even better, get passionate about your life!  What really makes your heart sing?  Focus on that!  And if he calls when he says he will, then great!  Be happy about that!  But if he doesn’t, well that’s great too, because you were busy doing something you were passionate about and didn’t want to be interrupted!  :)

Trust me… this change in your vibe is probably the very best thing you can do for your relationship with your guy and you will see quick results! 😉