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2011 is Almost Here!

December 31, 2010 By 2 Comments
pinkbutterfly

pinkbutterfly 150x150 2011 is Almost Here!2011 is almost upon us, and if you’re anything like me you’re looking back at the year that’s gone and contemplating the year ahead.

I’ve had a very tough and challenging year where I made some drastic life changes, but I don’t regret making these changes and I’m excited about the year ahead.  I believe that 2011 is going to be an amazing year and I can’t wait to welcome the new year in!

If you’ve not done so already, now would be the perfect time to start thinking about how you want 2011 to look.  What goals do you want to achieve?  If you’ve not done so already, grab your free goals and priorities diary – see http://selfconfidence101.com/tools/the-goals-and-priorities-diary-free/ for more info.

I’m excited to say that next year I plan to visit some other parts of the world – including Egypt!  I’ve wanted to see the pyramids of Egypt since FOREVER and am now making plans to get there later in the year.  How exciting!!

Another goal of mine is to significantly improve my ability to save.  I started a savings plan earlier this year, and so far it’s working well!  I save 10% of every cent I earn, and it actually feels REALLY good!  Yay me!

And finally, my biggest goal of all is to make Self Confidence 101 the best it can be!  My goal for 2011 is to help women in particular who are suffering with low self esteem in the best way I can.  I want to provide the best tools and information to help women all over the world to change their lives dramatically for the better.  I want there to be a LOT more happy people out there in 2011 and I want to help make that happen!

Now, one last thing I want to suggest to you is that all achievements should be rewarded in some way.  I rewarded myself this year with the most amazing trip to Los Angels with a close friend of mine.  We had a blast!  We stayed with her brother in the Hollywood Hills, we attended a movie premier, and I finally got to see for myself just how big food portion sizes are over there!  OMG!   Sooo soooo soooo much fun!

Have you rewarded yourself for your achievements in 2010?  It doesn’t have to cost anything – even allowing yourself a day to relax and do absolutely nothing is reward enough!  How will you reward yourself in 2011?  Give yourself a good incentive to succeed!

I’ll sign off now and would like to thank you for your support over the last year or more and I look forward to helping you to make 2011 the most amazing year it can be!

Filed Under: Self Confidence, Setting Goals

The Goals and Priorities Diary – Free!

December 29, 2010 By 1 Comment
Butterfly 70x70

goal 150x150 The Goals and Priorities Diary Free!A Facebook friend of mine, Michele Connolly, has created the Goals and Priorities Diary to help you get organised in 2011 and she’s offering it for free (Normally around $24.95 from her website) if you like her Get Organised Wizard page on Facebook (found here: http://www.facebook.com/GetOrganizedWizard?v=app_10442206389 )

The diary includes a section to write down your yearly and monthly and daily goals, and even a section to write down the goals you have achieved.

What a great way to start moving forward in 2011!

Just “Like” her Facebook page as noted above, then follow the instructions to get your free copy.

Enjoy!

Filed Under: Self Confidence, Setting Goals, Tools

Dealing with abuse

December 14, 2010 By Leave a Comment
crystalflower
crystalflower 150x150 Dealing with abuseI know I’ve been kind of slack lately and I’ve not posted much, but after what I saw today, I knew I had to do something that would possibly help just one more person in this world…
I’ve just returned from an amazing trip to Los Angeles (more on that in a later post), and decided to take a day off to recoup and finish some Christmas shopping.
As I walked through the shopping centre, I overheard a man yelling at his wife.  I couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying, although the regular “F” words were strong and clear.
His poor wife looked miserable and like she wanted to sink into the floor.  My heart went out to her.
This was an older couple and I guessed that they had been together for many years.  So this poor woman had probably put up with her husband’s verbal abuse all of this time.
I received an email from a woman in a similar situation last week and I told her this:
You have three choices about what to do here:
1.  If you want to stay with your husband, then get help.  Go to marriage counseling (you can go alone if he won’t go with you) to help you to cope with and deal with the way in which he treats you.
You’ve probably done nothing about it for years, so have actually given him the message that his treatment of you is ok.
A counselor will hopefully help you to realise that you do NOT deserve to be treated like this, and what you should do if he does it again.  You will also be given tools to help you to help your partner to treat you better.
2.  Another option is to leave him.  If you’re thinking of doing this, you must make sure it is safe to do so.  If he has the tendency to become violent then you need to be extra careful and may need to get the police involved.
If violence isn’t an issue, start preparations beforehand.  Where will you stay?  What will you do for money?  Call on friends and family to support you – chances are, many of them don’t have a clue about the living hell you’re in right now and they’ll be more than willing to lend a hand.
3.  Finally, you have the option to do nothing.
I want you to imagine yourself 20 years from now, and living in exactly the same situation you’re in now.
How does that feel?
If you do nothing, then nothing will change.  He will continue to treat you badly, and by doing nothing, you are telling him it’s ok to keep doing what he’s doing.
Do you really want that for yourself??  Do you really want to spend the next 20, 30 or even 40 years like this??
I know I’d rather be dead than have to live like that…
The first thing you need to do right now is learn to love yourself.  You are a beautiful, desirable person, regardless of what anybody says.  You do not deserve to be yelled and screamed at, you don’t deserve to have somebody swear at you and in fact, nobody deserves that.   Especially not you.
Once you learn to love yourself, you will fully understand the value in doing so.  A person with high self esteem will not allow somebody to treat them badly and get away with it.  They will stand up for themselves, they will get themselves out of a situation where they feel they’re not being treated right, and they will do what’s best for them.
The first step towards loving yourself is seeing all of the good qualities you have and appreciating them.  Write them down so you have a written reminder about how wonderful you really are….
Filed Under: Domestic Violence, Relationships, Self Esteem

Exercise helps you to feel good about yourself

September 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Exercise to feel good

If you’re feeling down, exercise is great.  I find that it’s a great way to vent my frustrations!

Not only does exercise help you to feel better, but of course it will also help you to look better, which of course means you will feel better about yourself.

So the next time you’re feeling sad, angry, or just feeling down, get out and do some exercise and notice how much better you feel afterwards.

Filed Under: Self Confidence

What can you do today to make somebody else smile?

September 26, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Make somebody smile!
When you suffer from low confidence or self esteem, you may find that you become very self absorbed.  You don’t do this on purpose, and much of this attention you give yourself is not positive either!
You’re usually putting yourself down, or just feeling bad about various aspects of yourself.
So how can you change this focus onto something positive?
Why not do something for somebody else?
This could be something as simple as giving a friend a helping hand, baking a cake for your mother, or even offering your time to a charity.
And when you’re shown gratitude for your kind gesture, feel good that you have done something nice for somebody else – you have made somebody smile!
What a great way to feel good about yourself and to really see just how good a person you are inside! icon smile What can you do today to make somebody else smile?
What can you do to make somebody else smile?
When you suffer from low confidence or self esteem, you may find that you become very self absorbed.  You don’t do this on purpose, and much of this attention you give yourself is not positive either!
You’re usually putting yourself down, or just feeling bad about various aspects of yourself.
So how can you change this focus onto something positive?
Why not do something for somebody else?
This could be something as simple as giving a friend a helping hand, baking a cake for your mother, or even offering your time to a charity.
And when you’re shown gratitude for your kind gesture, feel good that you have done something nice for somebody else – you have made somebody smile!
What a great way to feel good about yourself and to really see just how good a person you are inside! icon smile What can you do today to make somebody else smile?

When you suffer from low confidence or self esteem, you may find that you become very self absorbed.  You don’t do this on purpose, and much of this attention you give yourself is not positive either!You’re usually putting yourself down, or just feeling bad about various aspects of yourself.So how can you change this focus onto something positive?Why not do something for somebody else?This could be something as simple as giving a friend a helping hand, baking a cake for your mother, or even offering your time to a charity.And when you’re shown gratitude for your kind gesture, feel good that you have done something nice for somebody else – you have made somebody smile!What a great way to feel good about yourself and to really see just how good a person you are inside! icon smile What can you do today to make somebody else smile? What can you do to make somebody else smile?
When you suffer from low confidence or self esteem, you may find that you become very self absorbed.  You don’t do this on purpose, and much of this attention you give yourself is not positive either!

You’re usually putting yourself down, or just feeling bad about various aspects of yourself.
So how can you change this focus onto something positive?
Why not do something for somebody else?This could be something as simple as giving a friend a helping hand, baking a cake for your mother, or even offering your time to a charity.And when you’re shown gratitude for your kind gesture, feel good that you have done something nice for somebody else – you have made somebody smile!What a great way to feel good about yourself and to really see just how good a person you are inside! icon smile What can you do today to make somebody else smile?

Filed Under: Self Confidence

Boost your confidence – Learn a new skill

September 21, 2010 By 1 Comment
questionmark 588x248

Is there sonmething you always wanted to do but never got around to doing?

Learning a new skill will bring about a sense of achievement, and will boost your confidence too.

Depending on what you would like to learn, you can either sign up for a class, or you could purchase a book on the topic and learn that way.

It doesn’t matter how simple or difficult the skill may be – once you’ve mastered the skill you will feel a little bit better about yourself! icon smile Boost your confidence Learn a new skill

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Confidence

Domestic violence – What should you NOT do?

September 20, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Domestic Violence

I’ve been in a relationship where emotional and verbal abuse was on the menu, and for a long time there was something I was doing that was not helping anybody.

I was doing NOTHING.

I have had both a friend and family member confide in me about similar situations they are in, and as a coach I will not tell them to leave their husbands, nor will I tell them to stay.

But I what I did do was point out their two choices:

1.  To stay

2.  To leave

I also suggested to both of them that if they choose to stay, they must not assume that things will get better if they continue to do nothing!

What I mean by this, is that if they do nothing, then nothing will change.  They will remain in the same situation for as long as they allow it to continue.

Counseling might be what’s needed (even if she goes on her own!), or it might be that he needs to be given an ultimatum (that she is prepared to follow through with) to make him realise just how miserable he is making her by treating her that way.

Only she can decide what is the best action to take, assuming her safety is first and foremost in her mind too – verbally abusive men have been known to move onto physical abuse, so it’s important that safety is a main factor here.

Doing nothing means she will look back in 5 or 10 years time (or even longer!), will have no feelings at all left for the man who has emotionally beaten her down over all those years, and regret that she wasted so much of her life on somebody who wasn’t treating her right.

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life feeling miserable?  Do you really want to give up your best years for somebody who doesn’t want you to be the happiest you can be?

Could it be that your husband/boyfriend/partner is feeling so bad about himself right now that he is clueless about how to treat you and make you happy?  Many of these men do want you to be happy.  They do want to be happy themselves, but they just don’t know how.

By taking some action, you’re giving him the chance to become a better person, you’re giving him a chance to have you around for life.  If you do nothing, you are not giving him any chance, because one day you’re going to wake up and realise that you can do better and that you deserve so much better than you’re getting…

By putting up with my ex husband’s treatment over all of those years, I was giving him “permission” to keep treating me that way.  I know he loved me and I loved him.  But because I did nothing about his treatment, I lost my love for him and he lost me.

You deserve to be treated well and you deserve to be happy. But if you’re in a similar situation, then you’ve got to change it first if you want things to be this way.

Filed Under: Domestic Violence, Relationships, Self Confidence, Self Esteem

Feel the fear and do it anyway

September 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

One of the better books I’ve read over the years, and one that provides you with tools and ideas on how to get out there and try something new in your life, is Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers.

If you’ve not read this book, then I strongly suggest you get a copy.

Amazon have copies for sale too….

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Confidence, Self Esteem

This is Who I Am – Vanessa Amorosi

September 19, 2010 By Leave a Comment
This is who I am

This song says it all and I really relate to it – listen to the words!

It’s been around for a while this song, but I never really took notice of the lyrics, until after I’d attended a public speaking meetup where we had to talk for two minutes about what we were passionate about.

Of course I talked about my passion to help people talk about their self confidence and self esteem, and while I was on my way home that night, this song started playing on the radio.  I rarely listen to the radio as I have my car stereo hooked up to my iPod.  So on this night this song came on and for some reason I decided to really listen to what she was saying in this song.

Wow!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Confidence, Self Esteem

Small changes in mindset can create huge changes to your life…

September 19, 2010 By 5 Comments
Change your Mindset
How small changes in mindset can create huge changes to your life…
Anybody who knows me also knows that I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride for some time now since I made the decision to end my second marriage.
While I know I have made the right decision, I’ve struggled to maintain my positive attitude at times, and I’ve not been happy about that!
I have been conscious of the fact that I’m not in a positive mindset, and I’ve “tried” to change it, but with only limited success.
But several weeks ago I finally discovered the answer – I now know how to keep my energy positive, which is how I want it to be!
As I mentioned above, I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride.  I’ll be happy and positive about my future sometimes, and at other times I am wondering how on earth I found myself in this situation – again!!  I suppose I’ve mentally beaten myself up a bit too, which is not good.
My focus on my lifelong goals has wavered and I’ve just been living from day to day, with no real direction or idea of where I’m now headed.
Then one day I realised that sitting around waiting for life to happen to me was not going to get me anywhere!  I had to refocus on my goals and do something about them!  I had to get out of my “limbo land” mindset (while waiting for our house to sell so I can move out on my own, I’ve been living here with my ex husband, so I felt “stuck”) and start working towards achieving my goals – I stopped letting my current living situation dictate my level of focus.
So I began thinking about what I want in my life, started writing in my grattitude journal (I have this really cute iPhone application that allows me to write down what I’m grateful for, no matter where I am!), and then out of the blue I was invited to attend some training by a friend of a close friend.
This training was about crafting a presentation about your topic of interest.  It was much, much more than that though, and delved into discovering your passions and all sorts of wonderful things.  And finally I realised exactly what I wanted to be doing!
I walked away from that weekend feeling pumped and energised and finally I was EXCITED about my future again!
Since then I’ve attended Meetups focused on public speaking, I’ve been listening in on webinars, have picked up my studies and can now see myself moving closer to my goal, which is to help even more people (and women in particular) overcome low confidence and self esteem!
Not only that, but I have been offered an amazing opportunity to work with my newest mentor, which is just the most amazing thing ever!
So while there have not been so many “physical” changes to my life, I am feeling a thousand times more positive about life.  Opportunities have started coming my way, such as a woman I met recently who works closely with women from all over the world who said to me, “I can help you” when we taked about what I want to do.  Wow!
This is just the beginning! icon smile Small changes in mindset can create huge changes to your life...

Anybody who knows me also knows that I’ve been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride for some time now since I made the decision to end my second marriage.

While I know I have made the right decision, I’ve struggled to maintain my positive attitude at times, and I’ve not been happy about that!

I have been conscious of the fact that I’m not in a positive mindset, and I’ve “tried” to change it, but with only limited success.

But several weeks ago I finally discovered the answer – I now know how to keep my energy positive, which is how I want it to be!

As I mentioned above, I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride.  I’ll be happy and positive about my future sometimes, and at other times I am wondering how on earth I found myself in this situation – again!!  I suppose I’ve mentally beaten myself up a bit too, which is not good.

My focus on my lifelong goals has wavered and I’ve just been living from day to day, with no real direction or idea of where I’m now headed.

Then one day I realised that sitting around waiting for life to happen to me was not going to get me anywhere!  I had to refocus on my goals and do something about them!  I had to get out of my “limbo land” mindset (while waiting for our house to sell so I can move out on my own, I’ve been living here with my ex husband, so I felt “stuck”) and start working towards achieving my goals – I stopped letting my current living situation dictate my level of focus.

So I began thinking about what I want in my life, started writing in my grattitude journal (I have this really cute iPhone application that allows me to write down what I’m grateful for, no matter where I am!), and then out of the blue I was invited to attend some training by a friend of a close friend.

This training was about crafting a presentation about your topic of interest.  It was much, much more than that though, and delved into discovering your passions and all sorts of wonderful things.  And finally I realised exactly what I wanted to be doing!

I walked away from that weekend feeling pumped and energised and finally I was EXCITED about my future again!

Since then I’ve attended Meetups focused on public speaking, I’ve been listening in on webinars, have picked up my studies and can now see myself moving closer to my goal, which is to help even more people (and women in particular) overcome low confidence and self esteem!

Not only that, but I have been offered an amazing opportunity to work with my newest mentor, which is just the most amazing thing ever!

So while there have not been so many “physical” changes to my life, I am feeling a thousand times more positive about life.  Opportunities have started coming my way, such as a woman I met recently who works closely with women from all over the world who said to me, “I can help you” when we taked about what I want to do.  Wow!

So here’s what a small shift in mindset (choosing to focus on your goals and dreams) can do:

  • Opportunities seem to magically come your way
  • The “right” people cross your path at just the right time
  • You feel more positive about your life
  • You attract more positive people into your life
  • You feel a lot better about yourself – you’re finally working towards something worthwhile!
Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Confidence, Self Esteem, Setting Goals
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