Archives for March 2009

The first step to achieving what you want

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The first step to achieving what you want in life is desiring it like nothing else.

You really, really must want what it is you are working towards to get it.

Now think about this. If you’re not exactly clear about what you want, then how can you truly desire it?

So here’s what you need to do:

Go away and work out exactly what it is that you want.

Don’t say something like “A million dollars” because money is just a means to get what you want.

What would that million dollars get you? What kind of lifestyle would it give you? What could you do if you had that money?

What kind of life do you truly desire?

You can only help those who want to help themselves

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I had an interesting Facebook (FB) experience last night and this morning.

A male FB friend had asked the question why so many women are attracted to men who treat them badly.

I responded that many women have such a low self worth that they put up with such treatment. A woman with high self worth would never accept this kind of treatment ever!

Anyway, within a few minutes I was “attacked” by a woman who suggested I was putting all women into a box, stating I had “gr8 intellect”, etc etc etc.

She also went on to tell the world how she was seeing a criminal with several convictions against him, whilst telling me she had a high self worth.

Did she really? Why did she feel the need to “attack” me and insult my intelligence?

We all attract people into our lives that reflect our subconscious thoughts.

If she truly felt she was worthy of having quality people in her life, then she would never have had a relationship with this guy. She attracted him, but takes no responsibility for the fact that she attracted him.

I was once like this girl. My entire circumstances were the fault of someone else and not me.

It was when I finally realised that my entire future was in my hands (or even in my subconscious mind) that I was finally able to start living the life I always wanted.

Just so you know, I don’t feel insulted or hurt at all by what this woman – I feel sorry for her. Many would have felt tempted to attack back, but what would I have achieved by doing so?

I hope that one day she will think about what I wrote and finally realise that only she has the power to rid those “bad” types from her life…

Another way to remain focused on your goals

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The other day I found a link to a video about another technique to help you attract what you want and I thought it was pretty cool, so will share it here.

I think this is a great way to help you remain focused and I will personally go about changing my passwords this week! Yay!

Do you think this is something that could work for you??

Why on earth did Rihanna return to Chris Brown??

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When I first read the story about how Rihanna had returned to Chris Brown, even after he had allegedly viciously attacked her, the very first thing that came to my head was that she obviously lacked self esteem (if all this was true – I am somewhat wary of what the media puts out there!).

I read an article last week that confirmed Oprah Winfrey felt the same way.

If you are physically (or even mentally) beaten by a man, what other reason could there be to go back with him?  If you felt good about yourself and knew you were worthy of so much better, then you would have shown him the door and never let him back.

On the other hand, many women who find themselves in domestic violence situations feel like they can’t do any better and maybe deserved to be treated badly for whatever reason.  Others just feel that they cannot get away from the monsters that make their life a living hell through fear for their own lives and the lives of their families.

Oprah apparently went on to say "if you think you are a wonderful person, somebody hitting you is really offensive to you..".

Having lived in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for nine years, I now have some understanding of why these women remain in such dangerous situations.  That is not to say they are doing the right thing for themselves (or their families), however they feel they have no other option.

So before you judge someone for making what seems to be a stupid choice, remember there is a lot more going on than you realise.

If Rihanna continues to put up with abusive treatment, then she is sending a message to Chris Brown, her friends, her family and of course her fans, that this is ok.  But it is not ok. 

I just hope Rihanna realises that she has to take a stance and take steps to prevent this happening again and send a message to the world that women do not have to be treated this way.  Ever.


How to handle obstacles in pursuit of a goal?

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Recently I have found myself facing some challenges that absolutely scare the living daylights out of me – but I know I have to face them if I want to grow and improve my life.

I was talking to my husband about this last night.  I said if people weren’t prepared to go out on a limb and take risks, then they would have absolutely no chance of changing their lives in any way. 

If these same people didn’t like the way their life was headed, then how could they expect a different result if they didn’t try something different?

So this is where I find myself now, where I am facing the opportunity of a lifetime which also comes hand in hand with some significant risks.

One of the things I learned when studying to become a life coach, was to discuss with my clients any potential obstacles they may face in the pursuit of their goals.

They should then decide a strategy to deal with each obstacle, so if in the event they were faced with one, they would know what to do about it.

So it seems it is time for me to go and work on how to deal with my future challenges!  :)

What obstacles have you faced in the past and how did you handle them?

How to get what you want in life

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I am a big fan of the law of attraction because it has brought me things I would never have thought possible, however it wasn’t until recently that I realised there was one huge thing I did every timeto achieve my goals.

Let me first go through the process I follow when I really want to achieve something:

  • First I need to have a goal and I need to be pretty specific about it too
  • I write my goal down, in the present tense (eg.  I write something like, "I am so happy and grateful now that I am doing whatever, each and every day"..)
  • I visualise myself achieving that goal (I usually do this at night, just before I go to sleep)
  • I summon up the feelings associated with achieving that goal (I also do this just before I go to sleep).  I usually have a smile on my face at this point in time!  :)
  • I write in my grateful journal how happy I am to have achieved my goal, all the while summoning up those feelings (I pretend I have already achieved the goal while I am doing this)
  • I really begin to believe I will achieve my goal
  • Finally, I detach from the outcome.  More about this below.

Detaching can be a difficult concept to grasp but once you master it, amazing things start to happen.

All too often we want something so badly we obsess about it.  It’s all we think about, and we know we would be devastated if we didn’t get it.  Our life is consumed by this goal, and we find ourselves losing sleep over it.  What if I don’t achieve my goal???  ARGH!!!

There is a better way!

Remaining focused on your goal is definitely a good start.  You may meet obstacles on the way, but remaining focused on the end result will help you to deal with those obstacles.

Having 100% belief you will achieve that goal is also good.  But it’s also good to have a "Plan B".

At first, I thought this would be detrimental to my goal because it was like I was thinking I wouldn’t achieve it, so I resisted this for so long, but my experience tells me this is not the case!

For example, in 2006 when I was pregnant with my second child,  my husband and I wanted to buy a house.  Thanks to my former husband’s actions in previous years, our loan was rejected, and we ended up having to face several obstacles.

At this time I realised that I was absolutely obsessed with getting this house and I would be devastated if we didn’t. 

While I had the belief in my head that the house was ours, I also had this niggling worry that the sky would fall in if we didn’t get it.

I decided to look at rental properties with air conditioning (long story, but I HAD to have air conditioning!) and found quite a few that would suit us if for some reason we did not get our loan.  I realised then that I would be ok with the outcome of our loan application, regardless of what it was – I had my Plan B in place if everything went pear-shaped.  In fact, I just wanted an answer and I really didn’t care what it was!

The following day we were approved.

So you see?  As soon as I was able to detach from the outcome, I stopped being obsessed by it and therefore the negative feelings I had around it disappeared and my goal was able to be achieved.

Has anything like this happened to you or someone you know?