Archives for April 2008

Is your weight weighing you down?

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Many of my coaching clients suffer not only from low confidence or self esteem, but they also have weight problems. This might be a case of what came first, the chicken or the egg.

Are they lacking in confidence because they are overweight, or are they overweight because they lack confidence?

An alarmingly large percentage of people suffer from weight problems and it is certainly more than just about the food.

Why won’t she leave him??

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Have you ever wondered why women suffering from verbal or physical abuse stay with their abusive partners?

I can’t speak for all women who put up with such treatment, but I can speak for myself.

If you’ve not read my previous posts, then you may not realise that I was verbally and emotionally abused for around 9 years by my former husband.

It wasn’t constant, but it was enough to push my self esteem so low that at times I wondered if I would be better off dead.

So why did I stay?

There were a number of reasons (and yes, if you’ve never been in a similar situation you may wonder about my intelligence here!) which I will cover now:

1. I felt I had nowhere to go (despite the fact that my parents lived nearby and would have been there for me no matter what).

2. I didn’t want to admit I had "failed" to myself or others.

3. Financial reasons – if I left, then there would be a huge financial mess to clean up.

4. I was afraid of the unknown – my self esteem was so low that I really wasn’t sure I would be up to surviving on my own (what the..?).

5. I didn’t think I would cope as a single mother.

There were plenty of other "excuses", but as you can see, the reasons above were either not justified or they were just plain lame.

Looking back I know these excuses were lame but at the time, they were very valid and a strong reason to stay.

Another thing our marriage counselor said to me was that because the abuse I suffered wasn’t physical, I felt I didn’t have a tangible reason to leave. I suppose if he had hit me (several times I tried to get him to!), I would’ve been out that door in an instant! (I hope!)

7 Secrets of Millionaires

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7 Secrets of Millionaires
by Sandy Forster
Australia’s Leading Prosperity Coach

Millionaires have certain guidelines they live by – that’s one of the reasons they become Millionaires. If you haven’t created the wealth you desire, it can seem the Wealthy are privy to secrets you aren’t. The biggest secret is – you probably KNOW some of these so-called secrets already! You now need to APPLY them in your life, instead of just knowing them and you too can create your own Millions.

1. CONTINUE LEARNING To become a Millionaire, you must first create a Millionaire Mindset. Many Millionaires believe that your greatest asset is your knowledge. Your thoughts shape your future – choose your thoughts wisely. To realise your full potential, you need to continually be learning, discovering and educating yourself. Invest in your greatest asset by reading books, listening to audios and attending seminars constantly. By continuing your education beyond formal school years you will achieve more in life than you ever imagined. For dozens of free prosperity resources visit

2. LIVE BELOW YOUR MEANS This may not be the hot tip you expected, but this secret will assist you toward Millionaire status no matter what your income. A quote from Bill Earle sums it up perfectly “If your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep will be your downfall”. The typical Millionaire spends less than he earns, and invests the difference. Millionaires prefer to sacrifice high consumption today to achieve financial freedom tomorrow and for a lifetime.

3. BUILD A BUSINESS AROUND WHAT YOU LOVE Most of the richest people in the world own one or more businesses. To create true wealth, you must involve yourself in your own business – preferably doing something you love. Millionaires get that way because they do what they love. They love what they do so much that it rarely feels like work – they put their heart into it and the money just flows. This is where the money is – you will never get rich working for someone else. Find something you love, something you’re passionate about, create a business around what you love and watch the money flow to you.

4. BE PERSISTANT On your way to creating your own millions, you will definitely face some minor and major obstacles. The secret is to overcome these obstacles and move on. Do not give up – be persistent. True long-term wealth is achieved only by striding over, under and through the obstacles along your path to riches. “The road to success leads through the valley of humility, down the path of patience and across the wide barren plains of perseverance. As yet, no short cut has been discovered”

5. LEVERAGE YOUR TIME AND MONEY Millionaires do not have the time nor the inclination to do everything themselves and when it comes to making millions they don’t just use their own money. If you want to be a Millionaire you have to know how to leverage. Millionaires hire the right people to do far more than they possibly could themselves. And they utilise other people’s money to invest in income-producing assets.

6. INVEST IN REAL ESTATE ”One thing the Rich uniformly have in common is that almost without exception – the Rich either made their Wealth in Real Estate or they keep their Wealth in Real Estate” stated world famous Real Estate Investor, Dr. Dolf de Roos. It’s never too late to begin your Real Estate Investing career – with the right education and support you will be able to create long term secure wealth to pass onto future generations. Real Estate investing is one of the best-known ways to create millions – even if you have NO money to begin with!

7. GIVE BACK Many Millionaires are generous with their time and money in helping others. This wasn’t something they began after they became rich, they were givers before, during and after they made their millions. In fact many Millionaires even have their own foundations. They donate a percentage of their wealth to a cause they believe in. The more you give, the more you will receive. Don’t hoard your wealth, share it with others and watch it multiply.

Millionaires dream big, create a strong desire to achieve those dreams and then take consistent action to see their dreams come true. Follow these guidelines and you too can be on the way to your first Million!

© 2004 Sandy Forster

Sandy Forster, Author of the International Bestseller How to Be Wildly Wealthy FAST, offers more exciting free resources, articles, tele-conferences, books and live events in the areas of prosperity, success and personal empowerment at

What really matters when it comes to relationships

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After being in a marriage where a regular screaming match was just a (sad) part of life, I am finding things a lot quieter these days, since meeting my current husband.

Why do people argue? What do they hope to achieve? Do they just want to be right? Personally, I’d rather be happy!

Sometimes I think it’s best just to let things go when my husband does or says something I am not happy with. Unless it’s something that really offends, then I think about whether arguing about it is going to make me feel better or worse. I also think about what I might hope to achieve if I do choose to start or join in on argument and win. The answer is usually "Nothing".

Stop and think about what’s really important before entering into an argument, and NEVER, EVER argue in front of your children!!! You can never know how much damage that can do to a child!

Can’t get a decent date? You’re probably the reason why!

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Ok, that sounds harsh, but think about it. How much fun are you to be around?

If you have low confidence or self esteem, then chances are the people you meet will pick up on it.

I once suffered from low confidence and self esteem, and I am amazed at how this affected the types of guys I attracted into my life. There were some shockers!

Since improving my self esteem, the quality of my dates improved significantly. A while back, I asked a male friend of mine about this and he told me that guys with low self confidence or esteem were too afraid to talk to me because I seemed so confident and they felt intimidated.

So my moral of the story here is this: You attract what you are!

I don’t mean that literally, but more like you attract people who are what you seem to them. Gawd, that sounded confusing…!

6 ways to improve your self esteem

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I received an email today which talked about different ways to improve your self esteem, and I thought I’d share them here.

1. Greet others with a smile and look them in the eye. This gives people the impression you have confidence and self respect.

2. Always accept gifts or compliments graciously.

3. Bragging is not on. As in number 2 you should accept gifts or compliments graciously – not brag about them.

4. Talk positive! This is my very favourite. Talking constantly about your problems only does more to get you focused on those problems. You’re also not much fun to be around.

5. We all come across difficult or stressful times. Instead of stressing about them, do something productive.

6. Take rejection as an opportunity to better yourself. If you fail at something, learn from that failure and don’t wallow in self pity. And never make the same mistakes again!

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence – Part 8 of 8

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Reflect on your progress regularly – look back on a regular basis (at the most, once a week) at all you have achieved and pat yourself on the back for it!

Building your confidence is an ongoing process, and each small step is significant. Keep the momentum going and start by committing to make some positive changes in your life. Take an honest look at your life and take the first steps today.

You will be glad you did!

How confident do your friends think you are?

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I want to know how you think others perceive you!

If you want to add more, please submit a comment below so I can get a better idea of how you all think!

How would others describe you?

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Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence – Part 7 of 8

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If your weight is making you feel less confident, then you must do something about it – Take up walking if other exercise is too much. Walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Eat a sensible. NEVER skip meals! I cringe when I hear my overweight friends telling me they’ve been skipping meals and then wondering why they’re not losing weight – don’t they know that doing that decreases their metabolism? Low metabolism = weight GAIN! I do believe that you should be allowed the odd treat though – as long as the portion size isn’t too much and you’re not having too many!

Tips For Improving Your Self Confidence – Part 6 of 8

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Learn some new skills – Learning a new skill is always a great way to help improve your confidence. It gives you a great sense of achievement once you mastered the skill. Try to do this on a regular basis.