So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment?

Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Darts, at one point or another. These darts will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which darts should you avoid?

Dart #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug in a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson – learn from it.

Dart #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of bad situations. Look for the good in everything you see.

Dart #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent.

It is very hard to stay positive especially when things and people around you constantly pull you down but it is possible. Made the decision to see the positives of all around you, and react accordingly.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Have a great day!

Michelle Green

www.selfconfidence101.com

The following tips will get you started on your way to improving your self esteem:

1. Think positively about yourself

2. Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection – nobody’s perfect

3. Learn from mistakes – remember that we all make them!

4. Try new things and take pride in your outcomes.

5. Recognize what you can change and what you can’t – realize that if you can’t change it, then why waste time worrying about it?

6. Set goals – give yourself something to look forward to

7. Exercise to relieve stress! You’ll feel so much better!

8. Enjoy yourself!

9. Act confident – fake it until you make it!

10. Do something you’re good at

11. Try to focus on other people and things rather than on yourself

12. Pat yourself on the back for your past achievements

13. Choose not to believe those negatives said to you by yourself or others. You are a person worthy of so much better.

14. Be grateful for everything you have and love in your life – gratitude attracts more things to be grateful for!

15. Choose to be happy – only you have the ability to do this

16. Reward yourself for your successes – you deserve it!

There you have it. Hopefully the list above will help you to live your days just that little bit better!

Have a great day!

For many people, criticism, whether it is constructive or not, can be quite difficult for a person with low self esteem to handle well.

Often a person will take criticism personally, even though this was not the intention of the person giving it, and while sometimes criticism isn’t justified, being able to handle it in a mature, positive manner will really help to soften the blow.

Here are some tips on how to handle criticism:

1. Listen – don’t interrupt or make excuses

2. Agree with the points you do agree with

3. Ask for clarification if you are unsure of anything that is being said

4. When you are in the wrong, apologise. It really doesn’t hurt to admit when you are wrong!

5. If you feel the criticism is unjustified or unfair, let the person know, after they have finished speaking. Say something like, "I’m afraid I don’t agree with you" or something along those lines, and explain why.

6. Remember that often the criticism is not a personal attack. Maybe you did something incorrectly at work. If that is the case, then you should thank them for letting you know.

7. Learn from it – know that whether you were in the wrong or not, there is very likely a lesson you can learn from the interaction.

Giving constructive criticism can also be difficult, so remember if you ever find yourself in this situation, then remember how it feels to be on the receiving end.

1. Use the word "I" instead of "You"

2. Keep calm

3. Always criticise the behaviour rather than the person

4. Offer positive alternatives. Eg. If someone has done something wrong, tell them what they should be doing rather than just telling them they did something wrong. That way they can learn from the experience.

Have a great day!